Two Idiots

Posted on Sat Mar 7th, 2020 @ 1:25am by Division Admiral Talon Yeager & Captain Astrid "Alex" Yamaguchi & Commander Horatio "H" Lorne & Lieutenant Commander Jennifer Dale & Lieutenant Commander Kthaara 'Leadfoot' Taavoro & Commodore Korelii MacRae & Fleet Captain Torilla Yamaguchi & Lieutenant JG Jong-suk "Athena" Lee & 1st Lieutenant Candace "Hoppy" Crowchild & Captain Anthony "Polly Rolly" Brunel & Major Cheol-hee "Razor" Lee & Major Ellen "Viking" Mitchel & Major Pete "Aceman" Shaw & Major Valleh "Smoke" Sh'Thantis & Major Tae-yoon "Snapshot" Jung & Colonel Miranda 'Coop' Cooper & Colonel Hadar "Jem" J'Herim & Colonel Anthony "Ironhide" Raynor & Colonel Naota "Anakin" Unal & Colonel Thel "Arbiter" Vadam'ee & Colonel Nicole "Kraken" Vollen & Colonel Leslie "Fireball" Isaacs & Command Chief Sergeant Kodian El'Khaled & Brigadier General Jorge "Noble Six" Sinclair-Di'Tomasso & Chief Warrant Officer Ryi "Taffy" Amlari & Captain Eldridge "Sluggo" Blackmoor & Colonel Jack "Dirty Jack" Hassel & Staff Warrant Officer Bridget "Banshee" Cavanaugh & Staff Warrant Officer Hana "8-Ball" Nakamura
Edited on on Sat Mar 7th, 2020 @ 1:27am

Mission: Mission 71: Orion's Hounds
Location: Low Orbit over B Kayor
Timeline: 0930Hrs - March 20th, 2392

Senior Pilot Officer Anthony "Polly Rolly" Brunel glanced around as he sighed. "I hate this piece oh crap callsign.." he growled loudly. "Makes me feel like less of a man."

Hoppy turned her head. "Oh, quit your bitching Polly.. You could be a woman.. like me... and have the name 'Flounder.' The native american woman responded a triangle hotly.

"Hey, my fucking callsign sucks ass!"

'Fireball' smiled in amusement. "Fine... I'll call you... 'Hemorrhoid.'" before he grunted. "Get moving.." he indicated the briefing area where most of the pilots were already assembled.

Command Warrant Officer Kodian El'Khaled looked around. "Are we all here?" the fiftyish middle eastern human female inquired.

Wukari and Sergeyev both walked in and headed for the front of the briefing room, followed shortly by the Akurian Taver Leokuri Lower Marshal 2nd Class Byurkar Kuzzi and two Federation Marshal officers. Meanwhile all the Squadron and wing commanders reported their people as present. Myzar Zinov observed quietly from the back of the room.

"Alright.." El'Khaled paused a few moments. "Lets begin.." she turned. "Guys. Lock those doors." she turned as she noticed the two green lights above the exits turn from green to red. "Today we will start several fighter exercises with our Akurian allies, the purpose being that if we can train together, we will come to appreciate each others strengths in combat and sort out various weaknesses." she turned. "Sergeyev. The floor is yours." and with that the islamic woman withdrew a few steps.

Sergeyev, whom had done much of the planning for the exercise laid out the Squadron organization, "Alright for our first Exercise we will have Roanoke, Courageous, Argonne, and 16th planetary Fighter group on one side, with Hermes on the other. Each side will also be given one Akurian Fighter Force Attack Battle Wing and one Superiority Battle Wing. his will give each side approximately 3300 craft apiece. Now there are a lot of eyes on this Exercise as it will be the first true test of the Federations ability to deploy very large formations, so The commandant of the fighter Corps himself will be present and observing the whole operation, as will the CO of Starfighter forces beta Quadrant. So please, don't do anything stupid."

The various pilots reacted as the murmuring began to escalate in volume as the various personnel all reacted. Ironhide raised an eyebrow. "This is gonna be stupid." he mumbled.

Noble Six nodded. "Tell me about it." he rumbled.

Just then a new figure appeared. "Hello... I'm Flight Commodore Miranda Cooper, callsign: Coop. I'll be assisting with this operation." She looked about 5'6 in height and she was not a large woman.

Xiaxx was the next to introduce himself with an air of formality and self assurance, "I am Xiaxx Gralar, callsign Pustoy nenormal'nyy mozg, and I will be leading 4th independent fighter Brigade as well as the attached units, and I expect top performance from my unit." Naturally being Bolian he butchered his own callsign but anyone whom was fluent in Russian understood easily that he just called himself an empty headed imbecile. Xiaxx gave no indication that he had any clue what his own callsign meant. Sergeyev, the man responsible for giving him that callsign so many years ago, had to suppress the urge to laugh. K'Miras, the brigade XO had a permanent scowl on his face and naturally he pulled out his flask and took a long swig from it. The Flask contained vodka, but the bolian CO was utterly clueless to this fact.

Noble Six began turning the man out as soon as he started talking but he caught the references to his callsign. "Wait.. Pustoy what?" he rumbled

Ironhide however didn't catch the callsign, so he leaned over to Sergeyev who he happened to be standing near. "What did he call himself?" he inquired. "Did you catch that?"

Sergeyev nodded. "Oh yes comrade, I'm the one that gave it to him, I'll tell you later what it means."

Sergeyev then turned to K'Miras, speaking in fluent russian, "???????, ???? ???, {comrade, drinking already}."

K'miras belched and replied in the same language," ???????, ??? ?? ??,?????? ??? ?????? ???????. {Sure as hell not doing this job sober}."

Ironhide nodded his head as he waited to hear the rest of the briefing. "This... is going to be good." he commented almost under his breathe as he knew in his minds eye the rest of the personal gathered were getting just as impatient.

Sergeyev then moved up to the front of the room and laid out the mission Scenario. "Alright Comrades, You all are aware of your teams, now for the scenario. Each team will have a fighter ground base to defend. One base is located on the moon B Kayor IVd. The other Base is located on B Kayor Va, the two bases are approximately 2.3 AU apart. Each side will also have their respective Carriers, and each side will have one Akurian Battlecruiser and two Federation Destroyers. The Objective is to destroy the opposing teams base while preserving yours. Warships are not allowed to go further than half an AU away from their base, and warship captains will be junior to the Fighter corps commanders. lets face it, this is an exercise primarily for our Fighter guys, not so much the big ships. Any tactics are valid, the details will be handed out on Padds to all the leaders of the units.

Sergeyev then moved on to specific Team composition. "Team 1 will consist of USS Roanoke, USS Argonne, USS Courageous, USS Clarkstown and USS Miami, 4th independent fighter Brigade, 3-13 Brigades, 1st Regiment, 1st and 3rd battle wings, and the ASFS Hammer of Tsu Yaskal. Flight Commodore Xiaxx Garalar is in command."

Sergeyev then moved on to the second team. "Team 2 will have USS Hermes, USS Comet, USS Shimakaze, 3-13 Brigades, 1st Regiment, 1st and 3rd battle wings, and the ASFS Ryazar's Shield. Flight Commodore Miranda Cooper is in charge. You have three days to plan how you are going to attack. Conventional or Unconventional tactics, I don't care which you use. Loser goes to Gulag. Any questions, comments, complaints.?"

Korelii McKnight smiled. "No complaints at this time... I am sure I will think of something."

Talon Yamaguchi slowly smiled as she chuckled softly, meanwhile her native twin regarded the audience around her while she was wearing her uniform, when she prefered not to when she spotted someone who looked odd to her, before she realized that she was staring at herself.

The other Talon blew her a kiss before she turned away and seemed to disappear back into the crowd as Commodore Talon Yamaguchi blinked. "What.... the fuck?"

"Something wrong sir?"

"Um.... I dunno.." she paused. "Nevermind... lets go back to the breifing."

Meanwhile Miranda Cooper turned back to her skipper who was nearby. "Well skipper. This should be interesting." she smiled.

McKnight nodded her head. "Indeed it will be..."

Miranda turned her attention back as she jotted down the names of the various units assigned to her, before she tapped her combadge. "Cooper to all the skippers in Team Two... I'd like to chat with you guys in Banquet hall one in two hours... so we can go over our battle plans..."

Meanwhile Torilla Yamaguchi regarded Flight Commodore Xiaxx Garalar with a measure of trepidation, she had a sinking feeling about this guy.

Xiaxx then addressed team 1 in a formal tone, "Team 1 commanders meet me in briefing room 2 in 15 minutes." He then left the room without even talking to anyone.

Torilla Yamaguchi made her way over to where Lt Commander Jen Dale was standing, it was chance that Commander Horatio Lorne was neaby. "Guys... am I the only one with a bad feeling about this guy?" she inquired

Lorne shifted his attention to Torilla. "No Captain. I had that same thought too."

Dale added. "He gives me the creeps.. Like he'd rape a child and then blame someone else."

Sergeyev walked over smiling. "No, he is just an empty headed dope."

Yamaguchi nodded while another being walked over. "Hello.." The Arbiter addressed Sergeyev. "I must inquire... What does that honorless dogs callsign actually mean?" he inquired.

Sergeyev smiled in amusement," It means empty headed imbecile, I gave him that call sign back when he served as one of my squadron's flight leaders. Moron thought it was a cool name, but is clueless to what the callsign means. What can I say, imbecile then, imbecile now."

Arbiter chuckled softly. "The man has never figured it out... He truly is a worthless fool... and yet we are to follow him into battle... I feel as if I have soiled myself..." he rumbled. "If.. he fails us in leading... I will kill him myself.."

Sergeyev turned to the massive reptilian," well he will fail in leading, I can guarantee you that. That unit that he was assigned to, he took it over after I got Demoted and reassigned. He ran that squadron into the ground within the first 6 months, but don't worry, I have a plan for dealing with him."

Hoppy turned to Rolly Polly. "You are thick... you know that... Stop complaining about your callsign... at least yours means something decent.. His... is not."

"What?.. What do you mean by that?" Polly Rolly responded. "I still want it reassigned."

Hoppy growled loudly. "Godammit." she snarled "You are a fucking reject!"

Sergeyev wandered over to Polly," So comarade, you want callsign change, right."

The man nodded. "Please. Yes!"

"Alright," Sergeyev answered," Your new callsign is net muzhskoye dostoinstvo, {no manhood}.

"Err... you'd best write that down for me." polly responded.

Hoppy facepalmed as she groaned. "Aww..."

Outside in one of the hallways Dirty Jack was surrounded by his Wing's leadership. "Alright, Cavanagh, take the flight leaders back with the rest of the pilots to the dungeon. Go over the mission with the guys. I want to have a chat with the squadron leaders."

Cavanagh gave Jack a nod and the pilots started to leave. Ryi gave Jack an puzzled look. She was superior in rank to Cavanagh and yet Hassel put the Human woman in charge. She turned to join the rest of the departing pilots.

"Taffy! Wait, come back here." Hassel yelled to her.

"Yes Sir?" She asked.

"Stop with the formalities. Captain Pickford got promoted to a nice cushy staff position. I'm putting you in as acting squadron leader."

"I don't think I have enough rank according to regulations?" Ryi asked with caution.

"Your position is only temporary and let me worry about the brass." He told her. In truth, Hassel planned to keep her there as long as he could. He liked her and trusted her judgement. He then looked to his other squadron leaders. "Okay, what do you think of this new flight commodore, be honest and no bullshit."

"I couldn't tell because she never turned around but it looks like she has a nice ass." Blackmore told Hassel. Ryi's eyebrows went up in surprise. At least he was honest Ryi thought.

"I was talking about the Bolian, Sluggo." Hassel corrected him.

"I think he is an officer promoted because he has the correct qualifications according to Star Fleet. I don't think I he earned his rank due to any actions or victories at sea, if you know what I mean." Talbot told Hassel.

"You mean he couldn't lead a pack of cadets through of a piss soaked paper bag?" Sluggo interjected. "That's what I think."

"Crude but yes." Talbot agreed.

"Yeah, that's kinda my impression." Hassel also agreed. "Ryi, you've been silent, opinion?"

Ryi was still uncomfortable with her new position and not ready to be open yet. "Umm, he seemed okay. He has an odd nickname." She tried to switch topics.

Hassel sighed that Ryi wasn't trusting him yet but let it go for now. She would either trust him soon enough or he would have to look into replacing her. "It is an odd nickname." Hassel went along with Ryi. "Doesn't Nenormaley mean German?

"No, it means idiot or empty headed." Blackmoore informed him. "German is Nemetskey and it is from the same meaning. When the Russians first encountered the Germans they thought them silly and a little backwards."

Hassel looked at Blackmoore in amazement. "I didn't know you could speak Russian. "You have a limited vocabulary in English yet alone in another language."

"I'm into Slavic broads." Blackmoore shrugged his shoulders. "They dig it when you talk to them in their own language."

Wukari didn't look happy at all that she had to work with this moron bolian. So she said to her people," Eh, lets just get this briefing over with."