The shitstorm is coming

Posted on Thu Feb 27th, 2020 @ 7:47pm by Franklin Armstrong & Division Admiral Andrew Whiteshadow & Commodore Siaxx "Bluemoon" Dvald-Vaxx MD & Grand Admiral April Yamaguchi

Mission: Mission 25: Prudes Will Be Prudes
Location: Various Locations - USS Roanoke
Timeline: 1210Hrs - February 4th, 2391

Gunthers first stop was the communications relay in the security office. After a minute or so, he managed to get a hold of Commander Loran, a Deltan Jag officer that Gunther had worked with before.

"Whats up senior chief," Loran asked, ignoring the porn video that popped up.

Gunther shook his head, "Sorry about the video, the computer virus that this ship has has been causing that."

Loran smiled, "Oh I'm well aware of that chief, my own computers got it yeaterday, seems like this computer bug has spread throughout the whole fleet, So whats on your mind."

Gunther sighed, annoyed, and presented his case, "Well I have an issue to deal with. Apparently a Lieutenant Benice is arresting a Kurokuri officer, Hakaya Vakar for indecent exposure."

Loran shook his head, "Kurokuri, I don't think I know the species."

Gunther shook his head, "They aren't a common species from what I know, but basically the species is a feline species with thick fur resembling that of an earth red panda."

Loran nodded, "Ah, Yeah I know what a red panda is, adorable little creatures they are, but if a kurokuri has fur like that, I don't see how they can be indecent, even if i don't understand how immature humans are with nudity."

Gunther nodded, "Well the issue is that Hakaya was on the wrong end of an aerosol flame thrower, and as a result, she lost the fur covering her crotch. Though the medics were able to fix the burns, her fur isn't growing back right away. So essentially she has been forced to walk around with her vagina showing."

Loran chuckled, "Yeah, that must have hurt."

Gunther continued, "Well the problem is that LT. Benice considers that to be public indecency and arrested Hakaya for it. Now I'm just going to send you a copy of the medical profile, and I want you to determine if this is a valid arrest or not."

Loran picked up his padd as the profile was downloaded to it, and reading it several times over, he finally said, "Well, Fuck, Sorry chief, but what you got here is a loophole. I don't know how to call this one."

Gunther sighed in annoyance, "I was afraid of that."

Loran set the padd down, saying, "Well, with the number of species similar to Kurokuri using profiles like this one are on the rise, this won't be the last time to come up. Fuck, Yeah I'm gonna have to bring this case higher, see if we can't sort this one out."

Gunther raised an eyebrow, "Well, think it can be sorted out quickly."

Loran shook his head, "Honestly no, however, I recommend you get with a flag ranked medical officer, see if they can write a temporary profile to clear this up."

Gunther nodded, "Well, thanks anyway, talk to you later."

"Yep, later."

As the transmission closed, Gunther sighed, getting even more pissed off.

Meanwhile Aerin and Teval entered the captain's ready room, with Aerin saying. "Hey Zara, we have a bit of an issue."

"Uh huh," Zara nodded as she sat up on her couch. She still felt bad, but mostly was almost recovered from the cold... or whatever it was. "What can I do for you?"

Aerin explained the situation carefully, " Well Lt. Benice has arrested Hakaya for indecent exposure, stemming from the fact that one idiot singed off all of her crotch fur using a bugspray flamethrower. Unfortunately the profile saying that we don't have to wear clothing doesn't actually cover a situation like this."

Zara listened and tried not to laugh about the visual of Hakaya getting her hair burnt off. It took a long time for her to actually form her opinion on the matter, given the various loopholes and laws.

"The laws of this fleet is largely built against the human's taboos, unfortunately," Zara frowned. "Doesn't mean I agree with what Lieutenant Benice did, but we have a conundrum. A security officer who believes she is following the law of the letter, and Hakaya, getting the brunt end of things."

The Trill ran her fingers through her hair, as if confused by the whole thing. "How bad is this conundrum getting with the crew?"

Teval shook his head as his combadge beeped, "Gunther To Commander Vakar. I had a chat with a Jag officer whom is a friend of mine."

Teval answered, "What did you find out."

Teval heard Gunthers sigh, not a good sign," JAG is stumped on the matter. They don't know what to call this one."

Teval simply said, "Crap, that's helpful." Closing the comm channel, he then said to Tane, "Well, Rachael got involved, as did Elizabeth. Senior Chief Von Estling and Lieutenant Sheridan also took heavy issue on the matter."

"Well we can't punish Lieutenant Gyce, if JAG is not sure." Zara frowned at that realization. Then a wicked smile hit her, "But I can probably punish her in another way, if you guys don't mind letting Benice's ego grow bigger than her head?"

Teval looked at her curiously, "What do you have in mind."

"The lieutenant doesn't get how this ship works," Zara explained with a laugh. "They will rebel and turn this ship into a madhouse. More so if we let folks be themselves. Meaning we casually let Security folks know they aren't obligated to take orders from her if they disagree with her. So when she's overwhelmed and alone, I'll knock her off her peg."

Teval shrugged, "well, I guess with Jag being stumped, We don't have much of an option do we."

"It's the best I can offer," Zara spoke with a frown. "If I know this crew, Benice will be over her head in no more than a few days."

Teval rolled his eyes, "Yeah, with the Yamaguchi's and Siaxx involved, I expect it to be faster than that."

The group then left the ready room to figure out what to do next. "Well what do we do to prevent a situation like this from occurring again," Teval asked.

Aerin shrugged," We talk to a medical officer and get the profiles rewritten."

Minutes later the group entered sickbay, with Teval saying to Siaxx," Hey Siaxx we need your help."

Siaxx was sitting in her office, doing paperwork as she heard her name being called. "Teval, my favorite plushy... come on in and close the door." she commented as she rose to her feet.

Teval pulled out the profile," Yeah I'm pretty sure you heard about the situation with my sister huh."

"Toshnarr mentioned something about it." Siaxx admitted. "But I have a feeling you're about to tell me the full details.... he heard from Elizabeth who heard from Rachael... I also heard she's been arrested... is that true?"

Teval shook his head," No I am not here to spread the story around, I am here to prevent it from happening again."

Siaxx raised an eyebrow. "Let me pull up the paperwork.... I assume regarding your peoples culture?" she inquired.

Teval dropped the padd on the desk that contained the profile. "Basically the issue is that the profile does say that we are not required to wear any clothing, and the only exceptions for that is when CBRN Gear is required or for job related protective gear. Apparently LT. Benice thinks that public indecency still applies despite the fact that no exception regarding having a shaved crotch is listed.

Siaxx snorted as she caught the laugh right at the last second as she picked up the PADD, her eyes inquired. 'are you seriously kidding me with this.?' but what she said was. "This is a joke right?" she inquired as she regarded him. "Nope... nothing here about wearing clothing other then hazardous situations..so why is this argument coming up?"

Teval sighed angrily, while Windspirit walked in "Yeah apparently Benice needs this shit to be spelled out on the paperwork itself, and she is on a crusade to protect children from being exposed to vagina's, despite the fact that the 'minor' in question has the exact same fucking body part. Oh and Senior Chief Von Estling brought it up to JAG as well, and apparently JAG doesn't know what call to make on this one."

Siaxx sighed. "Oh dear me.." she sighed. "JAG doesn't want to make a decision simply because they don't want to offend parents." she smacked the palm of her hand against her face. "Wow... idiots..." she commented. "Fine fine... overrule the issue as the person in question doesn't need to wear clothing." she commented. "File this under the 'done' pile and tell JAG that the person doesn't need to wear clothing.."

Teval facepalmed, saying," Sorry, but I don't think this woman is going to listen to anything unless the profile is rewritten to specifically say that Hakaya cannot be charged with Indecent exposure under any circumstance. This is one of those cops whom needs it in writing."

Siaxx sighed. "Oh fucking hell.." she growled. "What is this woman... fucking retarded to the point where I need to draw it out in crayon,"
she growled as she let out a loud and long sigh. "Right.... " she picked up the PADD. "Okay... " she then placed the PADD back down as she rubbed her forehead. "This situation is just retarded..."

Windspirit let out an annoyed sigh," Some people just don't understand what it is like to be a furry species." She looked at the profile, saying," Siaxx, I don't think this person will listen to you if you rewrite the profile, I think we are going to need to call in a medical flag officer and a JAG officer for this. Plus they will probably only be able to write a temporary profile until JAG comes up with a more permanent solution."

Siaxx nodded. "There are two on the base. Commodore Firespirit and Captain Andrew Whiteshadow..." he paused. "Whiteshadow is an interesting one... I don't know Firespirit however."

Windspirit nodded," I do, he is my older brother." Windspirit then looked at Teval, saying, "I'll take you guys to him. if you come with me."

Teval, Aerin and Karryn followed Windspirit out the door.

Siaxx slowly smiled as she tapped her combadge. "All medical staff, please report to sickbay for a special assignment."

Ten minutes later Windspirit led the group to Firespirit, whom was in the starbase hospital administering a vaccine to April Yamaguchi's two kids. Her husband and Andrew Whiteshadow where also there.

April regarded her two children, before she turned to her husband. "It could be worse right?"

"Well. Yeah.. considering that computer virus incident... we're lucky we didn't have a full blown outbreak." he smiled. "You have company..."

April turned her head as she regarded Windspirit. "Firespirit... I think your sibling is here."

Firespirit turned around, saying," Oh, hi Windspirit, whats up."

Windspirit had an annoyed look," We have an issue regarding a medical profile."

Firespirit took the padd that windspirit , looked at it, looked at Teval, and then looked back at windspirit saying, "I am assuming that he is a kurokuri right."

Windspirit nodded, and firespirit then added," Well, with fur as fluffy as that, Yeah I can see that clothing would be extremely uncomfortable for them, What is some prudish humanoid taking issues with it."

Windspirit nodded slowly," Yeah pretty much, Commander Vakar's sister, Hakaya Vakar has gotten arrested for indecent exposure, mainly because some moron used an aerosol flamethrower and singed off much of the fur covering her vagina, and now this bajoran security officer took issue with the fact that it is showing, and arrested her."

Firespirit gave off a light chuckle, " Does she still have the rest of her fur though."

"Yeah."

Firespirit shrugged," Well I'm not seeing the issue here, the profile states that there are only two exceptions, did you guys talk to JAG."

Windspirit gave another nod," Yeah, they aren't sure what to do with it yet. And apparently this Bajoran needs it spelled out on the profile as to what to do in the situation."

Firespirit looked at Whiteshadow, saying, "Well, what do you think."

Whiteshadow raised an eyebrow. "So.. someone arrested a Kurokuri because of a nudity taboo.." he then snorted in amusement. "They wear naught but their fur... same with a few others..." he responded. "I assume there are minors aboard the ship?" he inquired. "What we have here is a culture clash.... humans who by their nature tend to be prudish... and others who are not.." he commented. "majority rules.."

Firespirit shook his head," Yeah thats what it looks like, only problem is, that a lot of nudity taboo's have been challenged lately, even by humans. With humans its a tossup, but we are dealing with a Bajoran. They are notoriously conservative. Only problem is, yeah with the way the profile is worded, one can make an argument either way. Though you will need to talk to JAG and find out how they want to deal with this, at least temporarily."

Whiteshadow nodded. "I've been watching the challenges, they always get tossed out for the same reason, parents being nervous about their kids seeing other peoples private parts.." he shook his head. "My wife is not human and none of my four children are either... yet I have accepted responsibility for them." he shrugged. "Do you have the profile handy?"

Firespirit handed Whiteshadow the PADD with the profile on it.

Whiteshadow gave the information the once over. "Lovely... This is too vague and isn't clear enough.." he commented. "This one... can be used and abused." he looked down at Firespirit. "This will need to be tightened up but this one is above my paygrade.... you'll need to find the guy who wrote this..." he paused. "When you go to change it... you'll need signatures from medical and me."

Teval sighed, annoyed," How long will this take."

Firespirit shrugged," Probably a couple days."

Teval looked rather depressed on the matter, but said," well I guess that's the best ill get." He then shuffled out of the room, with Aerin and Karryn leaving Windspirit behind.

Whiteshadow sighed. "I'll talk to my guys in JAG and see what I can do.." he looked at Firespirit. "I'll leave you two to chat." and with that he turned and went over to April.

"I caught most of that.." April commented before Whiteshadow could say anything as she turned to her husband. "Would you mind taking these two home." as she slowly smiled. "I feel like pissing someone off.."

"Alright... I'll look fter the kids... you think you'll be out long?"

"I expect to spend the night in a cell." April responded.

"Admiral.. considering the nature of our situation.. I must question your plan at this time... you might make my job harder."

"No Andrew.. I won't.... I'm going to go teach this Bajoran some manners... Its been too long since I pissed someone off." April responded with a smile before she gave her two children a hug each and she went out the door as Franklin smiled. "Look on the bright side... you didn't piss of a Five Star.... this Bajoran woman did. "

"Yeah... pissing off April is usually never a wise plan."