The Conference of Disaster

Posted on Sat Mar 7th, 2020 @ 5:33am by Division Admiral Talon Yeager & Commander Tienn Iteela & Commander Vrenn Chan & Zuko Omakan & Fleet Captain Torilla Yamaguchi & Lieutenant JG Tienn Durin & Lieutenant Colonel Tienn Nerra

Mission: Mission 72: T'Would Ring the Bells of Heaven
Location: Zekarria
Timeline: 1400 - Mar 28th 2392

Kakaivi didn't know how the hell she managed to get drafted into this religious conference, other than the fact that she was very sociable and a cultural relations officer. For some reason the diplomats with this conference wanted to know about religious organizations of the OISU, and she got picked to do the briefing. With her Talon Yeager got told to come along as well. Ryuukei came along to keep his sibling company.

Talon Yeager sighed as she slid into a chair next to her sibling-in-law. "Hey." she greeted Torilla with a hug, Torilla hugged Talon back. "Will you save my soul?"

"Have you sinned.?" Yeager inquired of Torilla in a rather dry tone of voice.

"With my husband. Constantly." Torilla chuckled softly.

"Will you do pennance and fast?" she inquired. "I will throw myself into extravagant mourning and I will pray for you... You will do so as well."
Talon clearly had no respect for organized religion, it was showing too but then neither did Torilla.

"Ummm bless me father for I am going to sin... With many men....at one time." Torilla commented with a smile.

"Heh heh." Yeager responded. "Oh I could tell you stories... with me, it was two different men a day for forty days... Let's just say it was... educational... I had no idea that Vulcan men had such stamina."

"I'm envious," Torilla responded in a dry witty tone.

Teval took a seat in the back of the room, now seriously regretting his inability to con Zara or Lasky into this task, and Zuko whom sat down nearby, looked equally unhappy to be here.

The conference started with Buffington introducing herself and several of the senior diplomats, then proceeding with a 5 minute introductory speech on the purpose of the conference. Teval was already starting to lose his mind.

Then the floor got turned over to one of the senior diplomats, a shriveled old prune of a man with an incredible talent for speaking in a monotone. This was about to be a very long day.

Tienn Iteela winced as she wanted to scream, just because she was Bajoran didn't mean she was religious, her niece was seated on her right while Tienn Nerra was seated on her left. "Oh Prophets. What is this guy droaning about?"

"Something about abstinence." Nerra responded. "I guess that rules me out then." Nerra chuckled softly

"Oh I get it more then you do." Iteela responded with a smile. "What can I say.."

"I am more unlucky then you are... It was a Klingon who I'm still in touch with." Durin explained with a smile. "I think its safe to say that this guy is dull and boring."

Torilla meanwhile yawned loudly before she paused. "Mmm... sorry.."

The guy up front didn't even notice the audience's inattentiveness. He spend some 30 minutes rambling on about the need for people to express awareness and sensitivity to other cultures religious beliefs and customs. Then once he was finished with his monotone lecture, he then started calling up representatives from various cultures to explain there religious customs. Most were boring and uninteresting, until he finally got to Kakivi.

"Will the Representative from the OISU come up." Kakivi, whom was half asleep at this point, had to be nudged by Teval. "Hey its your turn."

Kakavi sighed and pulled herself out of her chair, however despite her sheer boredom, she was nothing if not perceptive. she noticed many of the people in the conference became more restless and nervous. Many averted their eyes soon after looking at her. A few blushed and others tried, but failed to avoid staring at her crotch. Kakivi smiled inside, knowing she could have fun with this one. Thanks to diplomatic immunity, she could show off her vagina to a huge crowd and no one could do anything about it. So once she got up to the front she pulled out her notes and began explaining the various religious organizations within the OISU, all while making sure to put on a show in the process, much to the discomfort of much of the audience. But no one said a thing about it.

Torilla by this point was asleep with her head on Talon's shoulder. "Psst Torilla wake up!"

Torilla blinked as she sat up. "Woah... I feel like.... I've been stoned...or is that drink....wait drunk?"

"Torilla. you feel asleep." Yeager responded with a soft chuckle. "When I finish here.. I'm going to take my husband and make him sing my name in spanish as I fuck him senseless."

"WHAT!" Torilla barked loudly.

The three Tienn women by now were bored beyond words. Durin sighed. "This is worse then watching asteroids float though the perpetual night.."

Nerra added. "I'd rather get it on with a Cardassian then sit here like this.."

Iteela blinked. "I happen to know a few Cardassian men... If.. you are intrested."

"Oh fuck yes... names and numbers please." Nerra responded. "I'll give him a blowjob on the stage just to speed this along.."

"Thats over the top.." Durin responded. "I'm not sure I want that mental picture.."

Nerra turned. "Are you calling me fat?"

"No...but you are my aunt." Durin responded.

"Thats beside the point." Nerra sighed.

"Ladies.. please?" Iteela responded.

Kakivi 'accidentally' knocked her PADD on the floor behind her, so she turned around and bent down to pick it up, mooning the while audience in the process. Now most of them got really uncomfortable as they all instantly turned their heads away or tried to cover their eyes.

Ryuukei just grinned in amusement while Teval commented flatly.
"Wow... Ryuukei, your sister is even worse than Hakaya about showing her vagina and butthole off huh."

Ryuukei shrugged. "Eh, this is what happens when she is bored out of her mind and she finds a way to entertain herself."

Tienn Nerra chuckled softly. "It could be worse." before she let out a loud whistle, encouraging her.

Kakavi returned to the podium and made even more awkward poses while she finished her briefing and then when she was done, she then walked back to her seat, rolling her hips along the way and with a big grin on her face. Then the old man returned to the podium, his face a very particular shade of red. He tried continuing with his own briefing except he was stuttering much more frequently and his voice would occasionally break. Some in the audience looked back at Kakivi and when they did, she deliberately showed off to them even more, prompting them to quickly turn their heads away.

Tienn Iteela chuckled softly. "It could have been worse.." she chuckled softly. Nerra smiled. "It was a great show.."

Not a few minutes later one of the diplomats picked up the book Fap had masturbated in earlier and found a sticky white substance in it, prompting him to Go. "Ewe, what the hell is this."

Tienn Iteela smiled as she opend her tricorder, she ran a quick scan. "Mmm... Its a human male's seminal fluid" she tried not to laugh as she said it to the diplomat who was asking.

Nerra leaned over. "You did that on purpose."

"Actually... No.. Thats a human male jacking off into the book." Iteela responded.

"Oh.." Nerra responded softly.

The man dropped the book in disgust and ran to the bathroom, along with a second bajoran male whom went to the bathroom as well. The head diplomats face was red again, but this time with anger. But before he could say anything the bajoran man screamed loudly from the bathroom, then seconds later he came out screaming something incomprehensible. It took four attempts for the head diplomat to find out what he was screaming about, someone had used a Bajoran holy text as toilet paper and didn't bother to flush.

The head Diplomat, now a deep shade of purple, turned to Vrenn saying, "In the office, NOW"

Vrenn sighed. "Maybe we'll get somewhere now." before he followed the diplomat into the other room. "Get on with it?!"

The Diplomat could barely keep in his anger. "You, your incompetent staff utterly ruined this conference. what the fuck, using a religious text as toilet paper, masturbating in a religious book, what the fuck is wrong with your staff. Do you have no decency at all, or are you trying to make a mockery of every religion in the galaxy."

Vrenn paused, he tried not to laugh as he let out a sigh. "Okay... So... Whats your problem?"

The Diplomat utterly blew his top. "Are you fucking stupid, I just told you what the problem is." He then stomped out of the room, shouting over his shoulder, "you can kiss your career goodbye, I'll be sure to file this report." He then stormed out of the building and disappeared down the street.

Vrenn smiled despite his black mood. "Well.. My career is down the crapper... Oh well." he shrugged his shoulders. "I never liked religion anyway." and with that he turned and walked away.

By this point practically all of the diplomats and religious officials have bailed leaving Tabetha Buffington sitting up front knowing that her minister rights where about to be revoked.

Ryuukei looked over at Kakivi, saying. "Well, I have to say, I'm kinda glad I came."

Teval stood up commenting. "Well I'm going back to the ship."

"Same here," and the three Kurokuri left.

Meanwhile the crowd began dispersing. Talon smiled. "Alright its time for me to go and find my husband and remind him why he is my mate." and with that she said her farewells and departed.

Torilla paused as she thought. "I think Jake is on the Starbase somewhere... I must go find him.. as I need...some tender loving care, from my husband." and with that she too, departed.

The three Tienn woman were standing around near an entrance as they looked cheery. "I'm kinda glad I came now... One must admit it went differently then I was expecting." Nerra commented.

Durin chuckled softly. "I think the three of us plus a few others spent more time thinking of sex and various ways to get it then anything else."

"Thats not a bad thing.... Now we should go have lunch and plot Kol's demise.. I know you two girls have issues with him... so lets focus our efforts there."

"Yes. lets." Nerra responded with a smile, and with that the three Tienn's all departed.

Vrenn came over to Tabetha Buffington. "Lets go into my office."

Tabetha followed him silently, avoiding saying anything that might offend anyone.

They went into his office which was nearby. "Well... Have a seat." as Vrenn sat down in his own chair. "Well one of the diplomats said he will file a report with command and I think I can kiss my career good bye... I have a feeling that they might come after you next.. " he let out a sigh. "Well.. I'll admit it sure was interesting even if it was something of a flop."

Tbaetha then immediately shifted blame to the courageous crew members. "This wouldn't have happened if Courageous hadn't sent their most incompetent crew members to help me out with the setup. Lieutenant Commander Rachael Falanner and Lt Colonel John Burgoyne, those where the two officers that sent me these four failures that ruined everything."

"I will deal with them." Vrenn responded. "Well other then the last minute checks were not done and everything else wasn't double checked.. Probably due to a lack of time and resources.." Vrenn shrugged like he didn't care, which in all honesty, he didn't. "Aww well.. This wasn't your fault. other then the setup which was where you did screw up... But other then that... The people involved must have their share of the blame.. Which isn't all yours." Vrenn sighed. "Well I a bollocking to dish out to those two officers so... I'm going to go attend to that and I'll leave you to it."

Vrenn rose to his feet and out the door he went, to his next job.