The Birth of Ozzel

Posted on Mon Mar 2nd, 2020 @ 7:44pm by Division Admiral Thomas Lasky & Commander Moni Nasao PhD & Commander Luhanna Wintersnow

Mission: Mission 45: Dust and Echoes
Location: Various Locations - USS Roanoke
Timeline: 0800Hrs - October 12th 2391

The turbolift door opened as Commander Tom Lasky walked onto the bridge. "Oh Eight Hundred, Delta Shift is relieved. go on and get some chow and enjoy your rack time folks."

There were only two or three people on the bridge anyway and Lasky was not a stickler for the rules, it showed as he had his cat Shadow in his arms. He gently set her down on the deck in the center of the bridge. "Go on... go hunt a mouse."

Lasky then went and sat down in the Exec's chair as he settled in to do his paperwork, he heard a sound as he looked at the Captain's chair, Shadow had jumped up before she curled up and promptly made herself comfortable.

The turbolift door opened a second time as a officer entered, someone Lasky didn't know but he could tell the man was obese but he wore his uniform like it was a suit of armor rather then a simple uniform. "I am Ozzel. Commander rank... Federation fleet. With who'm am I speaking?"

"Who.. What?" Lasky responded.

"Have you lost your military bearing?" Ozzel responded darkly as he stepped forward. Shadow blinked her eyes as she regarded this new menace before she mewled softly at him, warning him.

"Oh dear god. a lost pet is on the bridge.. you.. find this pets rightfull owner and see its disposed off."

"Moni, Belay that... You don't answer tho this guy."

Lieutenant Moni Nasao blinked her large eyes. "Okay.."

"Obey me Now Lieutenant or I will see to it that you are cleaning catty shit off the deck for the rest of your career.."

Lasky sighed. "The skipper is in the ready room... I'd avoid saying it to him.."

"Why.. is he a furry too?"

Lasky shrugged. "Tell you what... go knock and find out.."

Teval, whom was in the ready room with Varkon, Hakaya and Ryuukei, poked his head out the door when he heard the commotion," whats going on out here."

Ozzel turned. "Yes!, what is with the lost animals aboard this vessal.... and who or what are you!" he snapped at the smaller beings before he spotted Varkon. "Do pet rocks come to life now?"

Lasky sighed. "Who the fuck are you?" he growled softly. "You're starting to bother me.. and I don't think Shadow likes you either."

"Get that cat.... of of MY Bridge."

"You're bridge..." Lasky smiled. "I think not..."

"Impertenant... I will... I will punish you for this!"

"Teval... I think guy's here to see you.." Lasky responded with an amused grin on his face.

Teval gave the new arrival a nasty look," excuse me tubbs, this is my ship, not yours, now i suggest you stop acting like an asshole on my bridge, or ill have the master chief here break both your legs and your arms."

Varkon stepped up, cracking his knuckles.

"Oh...Umm... yes..I...ummm... yes. Uhhh.... yes" Ozzel mentally self-destructed. "In any case... uhh... sir... I am here.. as your... new Exec."

Teval shook his head and facepalmed," Alright fine, Now why are you here."

"I am your Executive Officer. Effective this morning." Ozzel responded as he handed Teval a PADD. "My orders.."

Teval eyed him suspiciously but accepted the padd. He then saw who sighned it, looked up at the ceiling rolling his eyes," Nechayev, you cow."

He then looked back down at the Padd, looked at Ozzel, looked back at the padd, and thats when he said," Varkon, can you grab my computer, I want to check this guy's officer evaluation reports."

Varkon nodded and went to grab the computer.

Ozzel sighed. "There is no need for this... I assure you. My orders are legitimate."

Lasky was sitting in the Exec's chair as he thought to himself. 'What the fuck do I do now!?'

Teval shook his head," Oh no tubb's, its not your orders i am interested in, I want to see what your previous commanders have to say about you."

Varkon handed teval the computer, and he plopped down in the captain's chair, setting the computer in his lap. "Also, if you think yuoou are going to be exec on my ship, then you are going on a diet starting today, and you will be exercising for 3 hours every day until you lose that extra weight."

Ozzel was on the verge of having an epileptic fit. "I strongly protest. I am an...acceptable weight and I resent you maligning Admiral Nechayev's character."

Teval eyes him suspiciously," acceptable weight, yeeeaaaahhh rrriiighhhttt. Sorry, not acceptable on my ship, your losing weight tubbs."

Teval then pulled up Ozzels officer reports. he read off the first report," So, according to your last commanding officer, before being removed from XO, you where caught in your office taped to your chair butt naked, because you had two orion prostitutes over, but whn you didnt want to pay them, they beat you senseless, stole all your belongings and left the ship, and they had acquired your command codes and some classified shit on top of that."

Moni Nasao blinked her large eyes as she heard Teval speaking as she suddenly let out a soft hoofing sound which was actually a Caitian laughing. Within moments she was on her knees in hysterics from the laughter.

Lasky smiled in amusement. "Nice!" he commented as he gently picked up Shadow who protested as she usually did.

Ozzel blinked. "Well... the charges were falsified against me..." he responded. "I did nothing wrong.. those women made it all up!"

Teval gave him a look, then continued, "Oh and then there is this one, apparently you forgot to lock your door, and the captains daughter got into your room and ended up distributing your porn stash, which included bestiality apparently, across the entire ship."

Ozzel sighed. "She shouldn't have done that.." he responded angrily. "She had no right... fucking little bastard.!"

"Hmmm, yeah, right," Teval raised an eyebrow," Alright, so what about the time you where caught having sex with a blow up doll in the officers wardroom, by an admiral no less during inspection."

Ozzel sighed. "I have a good explanation for that.." he paused in silence. "The doctor... yes the doctor said I needed to.... let off some steam..."

Teval knew Ozzel was bullshitting him, but continued anyway, "So, how do you explain this one, on a mission to an orion colony, you decided to fondle an orion woman, which she promptly decided to separate both of your testicles from your body. This happened before the blow up doll incident. So its not like getting it on with a blow up doll would let off steam anymore, given that you lacked the parts to do it with."

Ozzel sighed. "I still have a job to do as your Exec... you are maligning my character and I resent it." he sucked in a lungfull of air. "Be that as it may... I still have a job to do... Now, Do you have orders for me?"

Teval closed his computer and said," Yeah, I have orders for you, you will report to the gym in 10 minutes in your PT uniform, your gonna start working off that weight. I will have someone from Medical, as well as Varkon her will make sure you report to the Gym, got it tubbs. If you are not there, then i will get you for both disobeying orders and for being AWOL."

Ozzel whimpered ever so softly. "Fine... I'm going." and with that he remained motionless.

Teval gave him the Death stare," I gave you an order, now move, or Varkon will be carrying your ass to the gym, either that or I can call security and have them escort you there."

Ozzel turned and fled. Lasky rose to his feet and knocked on the ready room door. "So... Teval. want me to pack out of that office then?" he inquired.

Teval shook his head," No, I'm gonna get Jake Yamaguchi on the horn and get this loser removed from Roanoke ASAP, and if that doesnt work, I'll call April. As far as I am concerned you are still my XO, not that tub of lard."

Lasky smiled. "Okay then. Well I'm gonna handle the paperwork then I need to chat with Elizabeth... You know how women can be right?" he explained. "Also we have our new diplomatic officer reporting in today... I'm not sure when though.."

teval nodded," Alright, Well im going to talk to Jake and see if i can get tubby removed from the ship as soon as possible."

Teval didn't wait for Lasky's response before going back into the ready room. Opening up comm like he found both April and Jake in their office having a drink, " Hey guys, so um, I have a rather unusual development here."

April raised an eyebrow as she regarded Teval. Jake did the same. "Teval... whats wrong?" he inquired.

Teval sighed then started," Well, apparently one of nechayev's last orders that I need you to remove, an assignment order for my XO apparently. She had assigned a total worthless 320 pound tub of lard useless piece of shit named Kendal Ozzel as my XO. I need you guys to revoke this order."

April and Jake shared a look. "Okay. I'll look into it for you." April responded. "Kendal Ozzel...I've heard of him... they said he shouldn't even be an officer... hell he's worthless.." Jake responded.