Lamin Labrosse and Munphuck

Posted on Thu Feb 27th, 2020 @ 5:04pm by Commander Sokanon It'kla & Commodore Siaxx "Bluemoon" Dvald-Vaxx MD & Company Sergeant Major Jeffery "The Mountain" Duval & Master Gunnery Sergeant Chalan Fal

Mission: Mission 23: Foundations of Stone
Location: Various Locations - USS Roanoke
Timeline: 1030Hrs - January 22nd, 2391

"Move it you fat beachball, Your taking away my time with my boyfriend" Kosbitch Munfuck shouted at the severely overweight Lamin Labrosse, whom was drunkenly making his way up the boarding ramp.

Lamin turned and looked at Kosbitch with his fat pudgy eyes," Shub up bitsch, I Tabe my tine." He then turned away and let off a massive fart. After about five minutes fatboy finally boarded the Roanoke his marine uniform not really fitting, and extremely disheveled. Not seeing the rank on Gunnery Sergeant Duval, he yelled," Wat the Fub ar youb lookin at bluckie."

Duval blinked, the comment caught him completely off guard. "Move along Fatso." he growled. "Or I am going to make your head... into a canoe."

LaBrosse, thoroughly inebriated, responded," Live tooo seeb you trie dubby."

Duval snatched a fistfull of the man's ill fitting uniform. "You disgrace this ship by being aboard her... you mouth anyone off again... and I'll have you shot... or are you just two dumb to understand what I am saying?"

LABrosse was actually scared this time,"Ok, I ve goob now, wab you wam me do masba."

Duval looked at the massive private. "You're fucking wasted... you are a disgrace..." he turned to the woman. "Move your ass along private."

Mufuck looked at Duval in an extremely bitchy manner," What did you say to me you dumb nigger."

Duval blinked, he'd not seen this sort of hostility ever in his career. "Come here..." he called her over and once she was close enough, he hauled off and backhanded her across the face. "What did I say to you.... was clear enough private lardass.." he commented as he watched some blood splatter go flying from her mouth along with a tooth go for a long flight. "Now... drop and give me twenty!" he barked at her. "and you... drop and give me thirty."

Munphuck simply turned and ran way, acting like the victim. As Chalan walked up, Lamin barfed all over Duval.

Duval hauled off and kicked the private as he reached down and grabbed the man's foot, then he threw him into the bulkhead, with murder and black rage in his eyes, he went over. "You're gonna bleed fat ass.." he growled menacingly.

Chalan, knowing precisely where this was going, put a hand on Duval's Shoulder, saying, "That's enough Gunney, don't need to go to jail for his fat ass."

Duval looked at Chalan, as he slowly nodded. "Alright... Private lardass here and there was another one... a small woman who is seriously overweight."

Chalan nodded," Yeah the other was wearing yellow colors, dont worry about that one. Just go get yourself cleaned off, I'll deal with lard here."

"Thanks..." Duval said softly as he turned and walked off back home to his quarters.

Chalan, whom had been carrying a few hyposprays loaded with an anti inebriation agent. He shoved the hypospray into Lamin's neck and administered it. Lamin, however, dint clear up. Chalan figured that it wouldn't work all the way, but at least Lamin could move. Grabbing Lamin's Arm, Chalan said in a stern voice," Come with me jackass, or ill rip your head off and use your skull as a urinal."

Going to a janitor's closet, Chalan opened up the closet, pulled out a mop and bucket, saying," Now, you can start with that puke pile you made,then work your way across the whole deck."

Lamin stumbled with the mop, but was to afraid to argue with Chalan, instead complaining," My leb hurvts."

"Should have thought of that before you puked on the gunney," Chalan replied with a poisonous look.

After about 20 minutes of Lamin, just drunkenly mopping like a moron, Chalan knew he would need a stronger drug, so he left to go to sickbay to get the strongest stuff he could get. Once Chalan was gone, Lamin attempted to wander over to the bathroom, but instead stepped into the mop bucket. He put the mop in front of him to try and break his fall, but the mop caught on the floor, the mop handle jammed into his eye, going straight through his eye socket and into his brain. A loud scream came out of his mouth, the mop handle broke, and he hit the floor with a loud thump.

A few minutes later, chalan came back to find Lamin on the ground, with a broken mop handle shoved deep into his eye socket. Chalan quickly moved over to the fallen private, and saw that he wasn't breathing. Tapping his combadge, He said," Medical emergency, transport myself and private Labrosse directly to sickbay.

Seconds later Chalan and the Dead Labrosse where in sickbay, in the middle of the floor, right in front of a surprised Siaxx, Windspirit and Soakanon.

Siaxx blinked. "What the fuck." the small Bolian commented. "Fine.. help me lift this...wait,... I thought this guy got killed already."

Sokanon blinked her large eyes as she moved in and plucked the massive man from where he was lying. "No.. he's different....but he looks like the other one."

Siaxx sighed. "Lovely..." she rolled her yes.

Windspirit looked at the dead body, saying as she scanned the body," Yeah, apparently he is a brother of the last one. Though this one is definitely dead."

"Brother...." Siaxx rolled her eyes. "Alright. Ladies.. lets make this quick.."

Windspirit shook her head," Sorry, My back is old and I cant really do any heavy lifting anymore."

She then left without saying anything else. However Chalan decided to help them lift the fat guy, though he did say, "hey, we could probably use the big gorn's help for this one."

With a soft rumble. "You called..?" Toshnarr stepped into sickbay as he came over and with a grace that put Sokanon to shame, he delicately lifted the massive bloated body and placed him on a biobed. "Mmm... where does this waste of flesh come from anyway?"

Chalan shook his head," Probably from some massive family of inbred hicks or something like that. Anyway, I've gotta let Daisy and the Gunney know, so I'll leave this in your guy's capable hands." He then left to go find Duval.

Siaxx nodded shiny dome. "Thanks Staff Sargent." and with that she went to work right as the private emptied his bowels, causing a noxious stench as everyone gagged.

Siaxx gasped. "Oh dear god..." she whimpered.

Meanwhile Chalan found Duval just outside of his quarters, having finished his shower. Chalan commented rather cheerfully," Well gunney, the fat boy is not our problem anymore."

Duval looked at Chulan. "This is a joke .... right?" he raised an eyebrow. "Well.. I heard the good lord works in mysterious ways... apparently not today..." he commented. "and here I was thinking that I would need to have him walk thirty yards out and stand still for me.."
Duval took a moment to finish adjusting his jacket. "o... what happened?"

Chalan still could hardly believe it so he explained," Well i decided to make fatboy clean up the mess he made, unfortunately the anti-inebriation drug I had wasn't strong enough, so I went to go get a stronger dose. Apparently, while I was gone, fatty tripped over the mop bucket, attempted to use the mop handle to break his fall, and managed to jam the mop handle into his eye so hard, it went into what little brain he actually had, destroying it and killing him."

Duval blinked as he almost felt his brain break with the news. "Oh...wow...umm.... how....does this...happen?" he paused. "I do not comprehend such....stupidity.." he shook his head. "A problem has been detected and Duval has been shut down due to a processing error... please reboot system."

Chalan shook his head, now laughing at the situation.