Beatstick's Gonads

Posted on Wed Feb 26th, 2020 @ 4:13pm by Division Admiral Thomas Lasky & Commander Siaxx Warfield & Commander Sokanon It'kla & Commander Nalla Furban & Jillian "Phoenix" Sullivan

Mission: Mission 15: Old Ghosts
Location: Various Locations - USS Roanoke
Timeline: 0900Hrs, December 10th, 2390

Siaxx Dvald looked as the badly wounded overweight pilot hauled himself into sickbay before he collapsed. Siaxx and two or three nurses came over to see to the fallen pilot who had been worked over.

"Guys, lets move him onto the bed." Siaxx commented

Moments later She looked at Windspirit who was passng by. "Hey Windspirit, I need a full trauma kit please."

Windspirit sighed and rolled her eyes, "Another one," as she grabbed the trauma kit impatiently.

"What the bloody hell happened to you?" Siaxx growled as she turned to her nurse. "We're gonna lose this guy.. move him into surgery. NOW!" she turned to another nurse. This one was a Caitian with golden brown fur. "Go get Nalla out of her Lab and get her out here RFN."

"I'm on it," Sokanon responded as she leaped away to tend to Siaxx's request.

A flustered half-Deltan quickly found herself in front of Gonad and when she eyed his gonads with her implants, she instantly tilted her head in a confused, Vulcan-like manner.

"When was the last time you had coital relations, Captain?" Nalla asked as she began to put a pair of gloves on and pointed to a surgical tray for a nurse to fetch.

The Captain screamed. "What the fuck does that have anything to do with my situation.... you fucking stupid cue ball.."

"You must be mistaken, for I am a half-Deltan and do not share the chemical composition that makes up a cue ball." Nalla blinked in honest confusion.

Siaxx growled to Gonad. "Silence.... or I will permanently silence you.." she snarled, now truly enraged. "I mean it, we're trying to save your ass."

"Fuck off inky... before I bitch-slap you." he replied to the Bolian

Siaxx proceeded to grab him. "Listen to me very carefully you worthless piece of shit... before I let you die... you watch your mouth..." she paused before she tapped her combadge. "Dvald to Phoenix, could you please come down here.... I wanna know why a half dead lardass is on my floor..." she then smiled. "Bring Fives too."

"Sure... But is it necessary?" Phoenix asked for she didn't want to explain the entire story with Siaxx.

"Yes dearest... I need you.... or I will cut this man's heart out with a rusty spoon.. " she raised an eyebrow. "or it might be a dull knife..."

Siaxx turned her attention back to Gonad. "You mind what I say in here or I will let someone hurt you... IS THAT CLEAR..." she screeched at the very top of her lungs, to the point everyone in sickbay heard her voice.

Windspirit just stared at gonad, making sure that he didn't do anything stupid

Siaxx sighed happily. "Back to work folks. nothing more to see here.."

Nalla decided to start over with the diagnosis process. "So when was the last time you had coital relations, Mister Gonad?" Nalla asked in a very Vulcan-like monotone.

Gonad moaned. "What the fuck does that... have to do with anything... just treat me..."

"Your testicles are swollen from broken blood vessels," Nalla asked in a very business-like manner. "How the injuries happened, helps me determine if your testicles are salvageable."

He groaned. "Doctor... what the fuck is this!"

Siaxx sighed. "Nalla, just skip the questions.... or he'll bleed out."

"Give me a local then, Nurse," Nalla spoke to no one in particular, though with her constant blinking and fidgeting with her legs, the half-Deltan did not like being forced to skip her routine.

"Uh... Local... No.." Gonad whined loudly.

"It is the logical choice, so I can stop the bleeding, while seeking information on your testicular injuries," Nalla retorted as she pointed to the coagulant drip on the tray beside of her.

Siaxx sighed as she closed her eyes as she covered her face with one hand. "Khasst!!!"

Gonad groaned as Sokanon went to assist Nalla with the operation. "I will assist." the Caitian said to Nalla.

Meanwhile, Boomer and Phoenix entered the sickbay, Siaxx spotted them and she made her way to them, a minute or later. "Guys... someone please tell me what the fuck happened to him?"

"Umm..." Phoenix scratched the back of her neck uncomfortably. "I might of crushed his nuts with my foot after he called one of my pilots the N word."

Siaxx blinked. "Okay... you go sit in my office... I'll come back to you in a moment." she said before turning to Boomer. "Whats your take on this?"

"What she said.." Boomer responded.

Siaxx sighed as she handed him a PADD. "Write me a report on what happened please..." she sighed before she went into her office. "Phoenix... we need to talk... thats three in a week....thats a record, even for you." the Bolian sighed. "I can see my version of therapy isn't working..." she paused. "I'm going to need to try something else with you."

In the background, Nalla mentioned needing to remove the guy's balls. Phoenix tried not to laugh when the guy pleaded against the notion. Then the CAG looked to Siaxx, very confused.

"He degraded the women, an' debased one in particular to a racist slave term from earth's more ancient days," Phoenix protested rather angrily. "The Spoonhead made a potshot at my mom. An' then you were debased to a brainless lace-whore by that diplomat in the holodeck. I think I'm justified in my actions."

Siaxx raised an eyebrow. "Jill... why didn't you say that...?" she sighed. "Okay... I'm gonna take you home.." she poked her head out. "Nalla, you're in charge for the next while.... I need to tend to another issue.." she sighed.

"Understood," Nalla intoned and asked the nurse, "Hand me the subdermal scalpel."

Siaxx walked back into her office. "Jill... Relax... I want the excuse for you to fuck me within an inch of my life... dealing with him is driving me crazy..."

"Ummm..." Phoenix blinked. "Are you serious?"

Siaxx nodded. "Yes... I'm serious... " the Bolian. "I want you to make me moan and scream...."

"I don' wanna hurt you, Siaxx." Phoenix frowned as she thought about Siaxx's request. "You've never had me as tha beast I hold back."

"We have the medkit under the bed.... " Siaxx reminded Jill. "Lets face it... I'm usually an animal in bed... its your turn and.... I've been wanting it for while..."

"All right. Let's go." Phoenix took Siaxx by the hand and practically dragged her out of sickbay while Gonad continued to moan about his departed gonads.

Boomer sighed softly as he watched Phoenix almost drag Siaxx out, he suddenly smiled as he had a feeling he knew what was coming to Siaxx.

Sokanon followed Nalla, assisting with the operation. Nalla continued to watch the monitors, ignoring the man's persistent complaints.

With the subdermal scalpel, Nalla removed the irreparable pancaked ball sack and discarded it in the trash bin. "So this injury is not the result of aggressive, coital activity, commonly see in Klingon coital mating rituals?"

Gonad groaned. "No.... it was... crushed..... pancaked..."

"It is the primary obligation of all species to procreate. I do not see the logic is removing one's vital organs for coitus," Nalla noted in a very logical, yet confused expression. Then she took a mini-torch and began to cauterize the man's remaining skin.

Gonad began to moan then he began screaming. "Make it stop!"

Sokanon sighed softly. "Can I sedate him?" she inquired.

"Absolutely not," Nalla answered in a monotone, then pointed to the sonic suturing pen in the tray. "I need him awake for diagnostic questions. Just give him more of the local."

Boomer winced. This was cold even for him.

Sokanon administered more of the local anesthetic as she continued to assist. "Local given.."

"Are you allergic to any medications?" Nalla asked as she put the torch down and focused more on the sutures. Her work was stellar and fast. Like a seasoned MASH surgeon.

Gonad groaned. "No.... I think..."

"Yes or no Gonad.." Sokanon asked.

"No.... I'm not allergic... to anything.."

"When was your last prostate exam?" Nalla asked as she set the suture device down and picked up the torch again.

Boomer snorted in amusement as he tried not to laugh and he failed, before he went over. "Doctor... is he able to hear instructions?"

"Mister Gonad is fully aware of his surrounding and coherent enough for conversation," Nalla answered as she began to close up her surgical tray.

"Excellent." Boomer looked down at Gonad. "Mr Gonad, I expect you to be at the simulators, bright and early for tomorrow's exersizes... Oh Seven thirty. I won't tolerate excuses... and if you're late then I'll simply send Phoenix after you.... you read me?"

"Y-Yes...sir." Gonad muttered softly. "I do. sir."

"Good." and with that, Boomer turned and departed