The Ghosts and the Lost - Part Six

Posted on Wed Aug 31st, 2022 @ 6:26am by Captain Leah Anderson & Lieutenant Commander Monique Deepshadow & Lieutenant Commander Krista Deepshadow MD & Command Master Chief Petty Officer Miranda Deepshadow

Mission: Mission 109: The Travelers Path
Location: Various Locations - Starbase Vanguard
Timeline: 1815Hrs - November 18th, 2393

Monique came over to stand next to her new sibling. "Mom... Tell me something..." she asked gently.

Leah knew what was coming as she let out a soft sigh. "Why did I not tell you?." as she regarded Monique. "What was I supposed to tell you, Monique..." she sighed. "I wasn't sure how to even accept what happened myself. I made mistakes and I kept making them... Mom and Dad saw me as little better than a stupid immature child, even after I had taken you back and that didn't start to change until after I met Robert." she paused. "I was numb Monique... I didn't know how to face what happened... I didn't know what to do... Robert was able to help me... But it took years for me to figure out what to even say to you."

"I thought-" Monique paused as she let out a sigh. "I don't know what to think mom..." she admitted, rather than start a fight right here and now, she decided to back down and not start a confrontation, now wasn't the time for it. "I wish you had told me... Did Robert know about her?"

"Not at first..." Leah admitted. "It wasn't until after what happened, he knew something was wrong as he and I shared many of the same classes at the academy... It really hit me after I gave you up... My greatest mistake." she explained.

Krista regarded the woman who had carried her and given birth to her. "Did you tell our biological father when you became pregnant with us?"

"Who was I to tell Krista?" Leah inquired softly. "I was too busy enjoying the freedom to do as I pleased, to enjoy what I had been denied while growing up... I had sex with at least six guys in four months... I had no idea who to see and I did not wish to start a pregnancy scare... Oh, one of you guys is the father to my child... and I didn't want to deal with the drama... So I tried to clean up my act..."

"Then the unthinkable happened... She was stolen..." Monique sighed softly.

"It broke me..." Leah admitted. "Ever since I became pregnant with Stephen and Bruce. I got paranoid about ensuring the security around any and all children that I had... Nobody got near them that I didn't know about..." Leah paused as the first tear fell, it burned hot and angry down her face. "I could not face that again... I needed time to put myself back together and it was Starfleet who failed me... Because they allowed a stranger to get into the academy medical wing, steal a child... and then get away scot-free... That... That's why I asked Miranda to take you in... You deserved better than an absent mother. Not because I didn't want you... But because I needed time to find out what happened to Krista... Could I ever get her back?... and then I found out that she had died in a robbery gone wrong... All my hopes, dreams, and aspirations... all turned to ash, all at once... I had no idea what to do... The pain of that loss is so overwhelming, I risk failing even now..." she paused. "I could not think of it, it was so earth-shattering, that I became numb to my own pain and suffering... Robert saw that..." Leah sighed as she sucked in a raggedy breathe of air. "He saw it was doing to me and he ensured that I would have a way to cope... and slowly, over time, come to terms with what had happened..."

Monique was fighting off tears as she wiped at her eyes. Miranda knew all of this and even she was having her own issues. Leah turned to Krista. "I can't imagine what you think of me... I gave up on you..." she paused. "Even though I was told you were dead, I shouldn't have believed it... I should have looked harder."

"What were you to do?" Krista asked her mother. "How long were you to spend on this fool's errand mother? You had no corpse and no way to know if I was truly alive and well or not... How could you have known that the final body was me... Even if it wasn't?"

"It does not matter..." Leah answered quietly. "Krista, I can't imagine what you think of me... After everything that happened, I faced some bitter truths... I was a woman who had no morals... I slept around with random guys because I was repressed in my youth... Then I had you two, losing you was bad enough... then you died and then I lost Monique because of my own pain... I asked Miranda here to save my hide... and it didn't matter... because I didn't tell her, Monique I mean about you and what happened... You were too young and I was still numb." Leah paused as she sighed softly. "Even after the boys came along, I was still numb... But what was worse... Was... I got paranoid about security in sickbay and everywhere else. I did not feel safe and I didn't think my family was safe... I was utterly fanatical about ensuring nothing would ever go wrong, ever again..." Leah paused. "In some ways... I still am paranoid about security..."