Fool Me Once, Shame Me Twice - Part One

Posted on Sat Mar 7th, 2020 @ 5:28am by Lieutenant Commander Elizabeth Yamaguchi-Solusar & Commodore Siaxx "Bluemoon" Dvald-Vaxx MD

Mission: Mission 72: T'Would Ring the Bells of Heaven
Location: Various Locations - USS Dreamcrusher
Timeline: 1000Hrs - March 28th, 2392

Lieutenant Elizabeth Yamaguchi was seated in her chair behind the desk that she was still borrowing from Commander Patricia Kingston as the older woman was planetside assisting with the Ferasian refugee issues, most of the medical staff were planetside and while they were being rotated through a ten day tour planetside and four days off, Elizabeth was helping out everywhere because she enjoyed the work and more to the point, because she loved her work.

Today however she was facing her greatest test. The previous week had been her trial by fire and now today was her greatest test yet of her skills as a counselor, however last time she wasn't fully prepared but this time however she was more then up to the challenge.

When Elizabeth had heard that Commander Siaxx Dvald was being sent for a mandatory counseling case, she had stuck in the request for the case to land on her desk and not that of her own Chief Counselor, who was Lieutenant James Wilkerson, a department head on the Tranquility.

Elizabeth Yamaguchi risked making an enemy especially if she called his judgement into question but she instead stuck down her request simply as she wished to relieve him of the burden of evaluating his commanding officer and risking her wrath as a result. Elizabeth was not under Siaxx's command thus wasn't affected, this was what had caused her request to be accepted and this Elizabeth would handle it rather then Wilkerson.

The appointed time was rapidly approaching as there was a beep from the door bell. "Its Open!" Elizabeth called out.

The door opened and in walked a rather heavily pregnant Bolian female wearing command red with the rank of Commander. "Hey.. Sorry I'm late."

"You're not late Siaxx... in fact you're early... Had had you need late then it wouldn't have mattered. I live to serve.. I do not lead." Elizabeth rose to her feet. "Can I get you anything?"

"No.." Siaxx admitted softly. "A change of scene would however be lovely."

"We can go to the holodeck if you wish it." Elizabeth responded.

"No... Thats not what I mean... I mean my entire life is a shuttlewreak." the small Bolian explained. "I'm so small and I'm having issues with this little guy... I turned over Tranquility to Lieutenant Riken this morning.." Siaxx slumped in her chair, she was still unhappy even though she had had a great time the previous evening at Saki's birthday party.

Elizabeth understood, she nodded her head. "I get away with it.. I know as I've looked into it... I can have twins or triplets and not have an issue with it as I have the size and mass to get away with it... I'm Sorry Siaxx... I wish I could carry children to term for you."

"You're not Bolian Elizabeth... But I appreciate it all the same." Siaxx responded, her voice sounded like it was being filtered through wet ash.

"Siaxx.. You still have your health, you have your friends and you have your career intact.." Elizabeth responded. "From where I'm sitting it was hard choice to make... But probably the correct choice... As you and I both know the risks of overworking oneself while pregnant.." Elizabeth sighed softly. "I very nearly killed my...-" she suddenly clamped her mouth shut. "I ... I nearly killed Kurt Lasky with my stupidity."

Siaxx didn't miss it as she commented on it. "You almost said 'my son.... Didn't you?"

"Yes." Elizabeth responded. "I saved him, I carried him and I gave him life.. " the large woman's face clouded over like a rainstorm that comes to a sunny sky.

"Thats nothing wrong with that Elizabeth..." Siaxx responded. "Would you're mother have carried him to term?"

"No.." Elizabeth responded. "Mom was being irresponsible." the larger woman whispered. "I made the choice to clean up her mess... I gave that child life.. he should have been MINE!... My own flesh and blood... Mine and nobody elses!"

"I think sweetie... That you and your mom... Need to discuss this..." Siaxx responded softly. "It sounds like.. you two have some problems there.."

"I'll do that tonight at dinner."

"Beth.." Siaxx said quietly. "Think carefully about what you say and do here... Because I don't want you to make my mistakes... I want you to choose a different path."

"I will do and say what I must Siaxx.." Elizabeth responded, her voice was clipped and hot, indicating she wasn't thinking.

"Beth, what are you thinking right now... I mean right this second..." Siaxx turned to face Elizabeth.

She stared across at Siaxx, dumbstruck. "Would you call it rage...?" the small Bolian asked her friend softly.

"Yes." Elizabeth felt paralyzed by her seething emotions, she was now so worked up that she had become enraged and was ready to throw something across the room or scream or hit something with her fists.

Siaxx's voice took on a calming tenor as she gently smiled. "Breathe Elizabeth, clear your mind if only for a few seconds... Remember your training.. Whats the difference between anger and rage?"

Elizabeth found it heard to breathe as she realized that she was hyperventilating. Meanwhile Siaxx gently placed one hand on her medkit, when she suddenly moved off of the sofa and over to where her friend was located. "Okay... I'm going to give you the once over... Make sure you are alright."

Elizabeth nodded her head as she fought to breathe, a moment later she was able to calm herself enough to breathe normally.

Siaxx gently prepared a hypo. "This is a mild sedative. It'll only take the edge off and help you calm down... Its only 5cc's so it'll do nothing to make you sleepy or woozy, it will however help you calm down.."
and with that Siaxx gently administered it. "I will be there when you talk to your mother because... I am concerned about you.... Its seldom I ever see you get this worked up over something and your mom is the direct cause of it.."

"Mom..." Elizabeth responded. "This turn of events is ironic... I'm supposed to be helping you."

"We're helping each other Elizabeth." Siaxx responded with a smile. "Now... whats anger?"

"a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.." Elizabeth responded before she added. "Anger is an emotional response to a real, felt or imagined grievance. It may have its roots in a past or present experience, or it may be in anticipation of a future event. Anger is invariably based on the perception of threat or a perceived threat due to a conflict, injustice, negligence, humiliation and betrayal among others."

"Sounds like yopu did well in the essay portions of the final exam... Kameron's influence helping you there?"

"Something like that." Elizabeth admitted softly.

"Okay... Now.. What's rage..??" Siaxx inquired of her friend.

"Rage." Elizabeth started "Its also often called fury or frenzy." she sighed. "It is a feeling of intense, violent, or growing anger. It is sometimes associated with the fight-or-flight response, and is often activated in response to an external cue, such as an event that impacts negatively on the person. The phrase "thrown into a fit of rage" expresses the immediate nature of rage that occurs before deliberation. If left unchecked, rage may lead to violence." Elizabeth took a moment to explain. "Its also characterized by a feeling of helplessness or powerlessness."

Siaxx Dvald-Sullivan regarded her friend. "Your mom had left you feeling powerlessness as she was being irresponsible and this is twice now that you'd had to clean up after her... The first time wasn't planned either."

"I had to violate someone else... I did it because I believed strongly that it was the only option that I had... Rachael wasn't present and I was also tainted by that virus so I couldn't take them... This left Phoenix."

Siaxx nodded, remembering the event. "I know. I was there.."

"She didn't want them but... If I didn;t operate they I'd loose all three of them. Stasis wasn't going to work... I had no time to find an alternative."

"So you accepted responsibility for it." Siaxx responded. "Phoenix didn't make that easy for you... I can't imagine what that was like."

"It's not something I wished on anyone Siaxx.." Elizabeth responded. "Then I had to do the operation... and then Phoenix too jabs at me as time went by... She never let it go... I was the one who had to make amends to her.."

"Which caused you issues working with me... and that was the real reason you ended up over on the Dreamcrusher... wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"I've kept watch over you Elizabeth... You were one of my star medical officers.." Siaxx explained. "Considering you and Billy Bob Hogan were both hand delivered. Did you and Nalla ever get along?"

"No...It was too strange after she ended up getting it on with mom." Elizabeth sighed. "Thanks to Peeves... So I needed a new study fellow. I ended up going to Doctor Renhai about it.. She has ten thousand years of memory.. I might as well make use of it."

"Good." Siaxx responded quietly.

"Whats ironic was that all of this was supposed to be about me helping you Siaxx with your issues.. Instead.."

"As I said... We help each other through our problems, facing them head on and not running from them... One step in front of the other..." as Siaxx gently sat down on the sofa, she let out a deep sigh she had been holding in.