A Ship's First Internal Line of Defense

Posted on Mon Mar 2nd, 2020 @ 12:50am by Lieutenant Colonel Tienn Nerra & 1st Lieutenant Natasha Skoboleva
Edited on on Mon Mar 2nd, 2020 @ 12:56am

Mission: Mission 37: The Troubles and Tribbles
Location: Various Locations - USS Dreamcrusher
Timeline: 1100Hrs - July 21st, 2391

Mathews looked on with disgust as Birkman ate the Andorian fried tuber that had been resting on the floor.

"You know that had to have been there for at least a week?" Mathews asked.

"And nobody wanted it? You snooze you lose." Birkman responded.

"How did you ever get classified as a homo sapiens?" Mathews asked.

"What did you call me?" Birkman shouted. He then dropped hid tuber fry and pinned a terrified Mathews to the wall. "Did you call me a homo?"

Mathews was very nervous. "I'm sorry. Clearly you are not a homo sapiens."

Birkman dropped Mathews and retrieved the Tuber fry. "That's right I'm not a homo zapienz."

LaJae was laughing hard. "Your a real sissy Mathews."

"You should talk LaJae." Birkman took several bites out of the old tuber. "it wouldn't take much to kick your fat ass."

Mathews snickered as LaJae's face turned bright red. "Shut up or I'll kill you!" He shouted at Birkman.

"How will you do that fat boy? With your commando blubber power?" Birkman taunted LaJae.

"Don't make fun of the black ops!" LaJae shouted. "Just for that, I'm gonna use my Vulcan Mind Kill power."

Mathews snorted at LaJae's threats and Birkman laughed at him. Then, as if in deep concentration, LaJae tightened up his face. He then made several swirling hand gestures.

"I'm going into your mind Birkman. Can you feel me crushing your mind?" LaJae asked with malice.

Birkman shrieked. "Stop! Stop! You can't just kill me."

Mathews was doubled over laughing but LaJae was dead serious. "Why should I let you live Birkman?"

Just then Tienn entered. "Captain, don't let LaJae kill me with his Vulcan mind powers!" Birkman pleaded.

Tienn smiled. "Ahh the camaraderie of the marines.." she commented. "gives me a warm fuzzy feeling in the morning.." she sighed. "So... why are you pleading for me not to let fatso kill you?" she inquired. "and what is he going to kill you with... his blubber?"

"I'm destroying his mind Captain." LaJae explained. "It should be obvious to anyone that served in black ops."

"Please Captain, make him stop!" Birkman pleaded.

Tienn chuckled. "LaJae, stop clowning around before I destroy your mind... with paperwork."

"Just to show you what a big man I am I won't kill you right now Birkman." LaJae said as he relaxed his pose.

Birkman, now realizing that he hadn't been destroyed, clutched his hands into fists. "I'm gonna smear you LaJae!" Birkman shouted.

LaJae put on a face of concentration and started to genuflect with his hands. Birkman shrieked again. "Sorry! Sorry!" Birkman pleaded.

LaJae only nodded. "You were wise not to have your mind destroyed." LaJae told Birkman in a flat tone.

Tienn sighed before she shook her head. "Unbelievable," she muttered. "LaJae, get your fat ass over here. walk with me" there was no mistaking her tone as she turned away and started walking. She waited a moment. "Now LaJae!" she growled.

"Hey, I'm moving!" LaJae shouted back. LaJae looked over at the other two marines. "Must be her time of the month." He stated with a smirk.

Tienn counted to twenty before she started. "LaJae, I ever see you doing that, I'll have you for a court martial on articles 133, 80 and 88... Don't toy with me..."

Birkman had a concerned look on his face. "Aren't you scarred of his mind powers Captain?"

Tienn turned her head. "No." she responded simply. "Because he's fucking with you. There is no such thing as a Vulcan death stare... or whatever its called." as she shifted her gaze from LaJae to Birkman. "Feel free... kick his ass... I won't stop you." as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Birkman clenched his fists as he approached LaJae. In response, LaJae put his hands to his head and squinted his eyes. "I'm going to bust your brain Birkman."

Birkman grimaced and stopped in his tracks. "He doesn't have any powers, stupid." Mathews told Birkman. For a moment Birkman looked confused. "Hit him!" Mathews shouted.

Birkman punched LaJae in the face. Bross cried in pain and used his arms to cover his head. Birkman punched LaJae in his ample torso several times before the fat man fell over and onto the deck. LaJae started to loudly cry. Birkman shook his head in disapproval. "You're just sad LaJae." he told the man now assuming the fetal position.

Birkman headed out of the room. Mathews started to laugh loudly. Before he left, Birkman feigned a punch at Mathews. Mathews screeched and moved away with his arms over his face.

Tienn watched, amusement playing at her lips. "Enough... Birkman. Come back here!" she called. "Now... that you guys have had your fun... I will have mine... battle drills."

Birkman tried to pretend he didn't hear Tienn and continued out. He ran into Skoboleva and she forced him back into the armory. She looked around and saw Mathews shaking in the corner and LaJae on the floor. "What happened here?" Skoboleva asked.

"The boys are having a mild disagreement..." Tienn responded. "They can't seem to want to get along so they choose to settle it on the battlefield... I'm going to let them deal with it themselves.... rather than waste precious oxygen."

Skoboleva looked around. "I don't know who won but I know who lost." She stated to no one in particular. "I think we need to discuss the state of our marines in private Sir." Skoboleva told Tienn. "I have a few concerns."

"Of course." Tienn responded evenly. "You guys... kill each other... because then I get back. I'm gonna make you wish you were dead."
and with that, she went off, following the taller human woman. "I have an idea of what you are about to tell me, Lieutenant."

"The fact that we have several marines how should not be in Star Fleet let alone in a Marine Rifle unit? Yes, Captain. That is my concern." Skoboleva explained. "Maybe we can consolidate them into a separate unit? One that would just be assigned to do menial work and not combat operations?"

"I like your idea Lieutenant." Tienn responded. "Go ahead and arrange it with whoever wants to command our resident shitbags." Tienn was new to her command so she was still feeling her way around the details.

"Thank you Sir." Skoboleva replied. "I'll arrange things."

"Thank you El Tee... Just one question... who would you put in command of this ... unit.?"

"Not sure yet." She answered. "Mathews is senior in rank but I don't trust him. Maybe there is an NCO somewhere in the task force we can put in charge?"

"Mathews is an imbecile.." Tienn responded bluntly. "Yeah... I'm sure someone can do it..." she paused. "but who would be insane enough to accept command of these fools.?"

"Maybe we can put one of the dim wits in charge?" Skoboleva asked. "They wouldn't have to be smart, just strong enough to keep the others in line."

"El Tee... Is that what they mean by Russian irony?" the smaller Bajoran woman inquired. "Because that statement is terrifying."

"I am serious." Skoboleva explained. "The unit would just be for menial work. They would not be issued weapons or doing anything dangerous."

Tienn nodded, a smile crossing her lips. "Do it... assign whoever you feel best to lead this band of miscreants."

Skoboleva nodded. "Ill get right on it Sir."

"Thank you El Tee." Tienn regarded the larger human woman with a smile.