Is this guy for real?

Posted on Sat Feb 29th, 2020 @ 5:01pm by Lieutenant Colonel Tienn Nerra

Mission: Mission 33: Losing the Peace
Location: Various Locations - USS Dreamcrusher
Timeline: 0800Hrs - May 15th, 2391

Bross LaJae entered Marine Country aboard the Dreamcrusher. He was wearing Gunnery Sergeant rank on his new green and loose shirt. Over that he wore a jacket that was way to small. The teeth of the zipper were showing and they looked stretched to the point of breaking. The jacket didn't quiet cover his belly and green cloth protruded from under the overstretched jacket. His pants fit tightly around his thighs and the tops of his boots were visible.

He approached the young Bajoran Captain working at her desk. He threw a PADD on down. "Gunny LaJae reporting for duty." he announced.

Tienn Nerra looked up as she raised an eyebrow, her train of thought coming to a screeching halt. "You... are a Gunnery Sergeant?" she instantly thought of a few old friends and none of them looked like this clown as she picked up a second PADD, as she quickly called up a roster of the marines assigned to her, one notation that caught her eye was 'Bross LaJae - Private'

Tienn suddenly realized that she had never faced a situation quite like this. "Your unbelievable... go sort yourself out... and you're also in the wrong uniform private." the smaller Bajoran commented with a smile.
"Impersonation... I wonder what I ought to do with you."

"Well, actually I was working for black ops." Bross replied. "They had to sponge up my records. Whoever was working in personnel didn't like me, so they gave me a rank of private. It should be Gunny Sergeant."

Tienn slowly smiled as she regarded the enormous slob of a man before her. "Well regardless... your record tells me one thing and you are telling me another." as she lifted her drink slowly before draining a mouthful from it. "Mmm.. why did the guys in personal not like you.... I wonder... and why are you wearing such a ridiculously fitting uniform..."

Tienn was wondering if the zipper would come apart if he inhaled too much before she decided he was running out of time, and her patience.

"Yeah, I think it was a guy from my old black ops unit." Bross answered. "He couldn't handle the intense training so he had to transfer. He blamed me."

It was just then that the zipper lost the battle of the bulge. The teeth of the zipper ripped apart. The slider shot off and zipped by Tienn's head like a bullet. It hit a display behind her and putting in a circular crack.

Tienn raised an eyebrow as she ducked, not expecting the zipper to come flying off of his jacket. "Okay, I've heard enough." she responded when she lifted her head, a moment later. "Private La....Whatever your name is... get out and quit wasting my time. I got work to do. Go find Theta Squad, your assigned to them... They should be in holosuite three.."

"Theta Squad? I should be assigned to the kill team." Bross told Tienn. "And I'm a Gunny. I got the Christopher Pike Award for valor."

"And I do not care.." Tienn responded quietly. "Your paperwork says that you are a private, among other things..." she now looked annoyed. "Considering the zipper on your jacket didn't survive being in here.... I'm going to have my guys look into your nebulous rank issue.. but in the meantime, get out of my office and go find Theta Squad, tell the sergeant that you are assigned to him, Malarky is his name... and if he tells me you gave him crap..... well.. you won't like what I do to you."

"Pfft, whatever." Bross told her. "I'll go there for now but we'll straighten this out later. You won't have to apologize. I understand you are intimidated by me."

Tienn sat back in her chair as she looked rather amused. "Intimidated by you... Why would I be intimidated by you.?" she inquired as a smile slowly appeared on her face. "Clearly, you've not heard of me.... have you Private?" before she shot to her feet, a Phaser sidearm suddenly appearing in her right hand. "Please... continue to piss me off... and I'll get to see what you are actually using for brains..." as she indicated the door, waving her phaser. "go on now.... do run along.."

Bross grimaced at the site of the phaser. The pungent smell of urine entered the air. When it became clear that Tienn wasn't going to shoot him, Bross regained his composure. "Yeah, I know some Klingon commando moves to get you gun but I don't want to use them on you because I could kill you." He told her before turning around and quickly leaving the room.

Tienn meanwhile had not moved once until after he left. "Computer, increase ventilation by fifty percent." as she lowered her arm, before sliding her sidearm back into its wrist holster, a happy sigh escaped her lips. "You are a big talker.." she commented. "and now that you have attracted my attention... you may wish you had not tried fucking with me." she tapped he combadge. "Tienn to Malarky.?"

"Malarky here, go for it sir."

"Sarge, you got a slob of a Marine coming your way, he says he's a Gunny but the roster says he's a private. Don't take any shit from him.."

"Copy that sir, thanks for the heads up. Anything else sir?"

"Other then the fact that he's a big talker.. No. Tienn out." and with that the smaller Bajoran tapped her combadge again as a thought escaped her. "Kosst, I need to get laid.."

A large puddle of something was in a pool of where Bross was standing.

Tienn sighed softly as she realized that she had to go clean it up so she rose to her feet and after pulling on a pair of disposable gloves, she went to clean the small puddle of noxious liquid, moments later she was finished and she was off to wash her hands.