Long Night of Entropy

Posted on Fri Feb 28th, 2020 @ 4:03pm by Commander Tressa Brislan-Antilles & Commodore Siaxx "Bluemoon" Dvald-Vaxx MD

Mission: Mission 31: The Ashes of Eden
Location: Various Locations - USS Roanoke
Timeline: 0900Hrs - March 28th, 2391

Lt Commander Siaxx Dvald tapped the door chime at her destination, she was wearing civilian clothing including a pair of sneakers, a pair of jeans and a hoodie.

Her old clothes still fit her, even if she was older but she had only become smaller, she'd lost weight but she had gained a dozen or so scars and a lot of color, she held in her hands a PADD and an orange.

"Come in," the counselor said.

Siaxx was unhappy and it was radiating to everyone around her, she tapped the door release and stepped into the office. "Hey..." she said softly. "I'm looking for a species... and I can't find them... I gave my word..." Siaxx stopped herself, she was already in danger of falling apart and she was here not even five minutes. "I promised... my friend... I'd bring his body and that of his mate back to his people..."

"Siaxx?" Tressa said, walking towards her. "Please sit down, tell me what's going on."

Siaxx sat down in a chair as she wiped her face. "He was something special Tressa... and when he died... I gave my word... and I'm failing.."

"Why do you think you're failing? Start from the beginning," she said, sitting in the chair next to Siaxx.

Siaxx inhaled softly as she handed Tressa the PADD. "Greywolf's information..." she paused. "He was... the best thing that ever crashed into my life... he saved me... me made me feel... complete.."

The counselor took the PADD. "How did you meet?" she asked.

Siaxx paused as she considered how best to tell this story. "Well.." the small Bolian closed her eyes as she slowly inhaled. "Right... Rachael and I were out foraging in the woods, not far from the base camp we had established.. when we were ambushed by a jungle predator. She got away as the beast came after me... I was the smaller of us so it saw me as weaker.." she explained. "I ran off a cliff and dropped into a river... I got washed away... and I managed to snag a branch, only attracting the attention of a smaller predator which shot me with a stinging barb...and I fell back into the river again. Thats when he appeared... he killed the Predator that attacked me... the smaller one that is... and he hauled me out of the river and took me home." Siaxx explained, a soft smile on her lips. "When I came to... he and I couldn't communicate but I knew he meant me no harm.... we were able to achieve a measure of communication while he taught me his language.." the small Bolian explained. "I knew him for five years... and he left me everything, including his companion, Halftalon... who's down in the arboretum. I visit him for a time each day...but he's very independent.. He only lets me ride him, Rachael and Saki are alright, if they are with me.. nobody else on the away mission could go near him.."

Tressa's eyes were wide. "That is quite a story! He sounds like an amazing person to have known. Did he die suddenly?" she asked.

"No... It was old age that finally brought him down.. I promised I'd return him to his people, Him and his mate... and I meant it... I have their corpses in the morgue.. Torilla has been a wonder... y'know... she didn't need to let me have my way on the matter but... she did..."

"Torilla is my dearest friend, she has a heart like no other. I am not surprised at all by her actions," Tressa said softly. She put her hand on Siaxx's and gave it a gentle squeeze. "How is Phoenix?"

"She's got two children she didn't want... and she's trying to hand them back to their mother except the kids think that Jill IS their mother." Siaxx explained the situation briefly. "Jill.. is tired." Siaxx explained softly. "She's been through a lot in the last two years... and its still so hard to believe that only a month went by for all you guys... and eight years for us..." Siaxx paused. "I never told anyone this but.... I didn't think we would ever be rescued... and I would have given Greywolf... my word for nothing..."

"But you were rescued, and you are back here now," Tressa said firmly. "You have some readjusting to do, no one will fault you for taking the time you need. You lived with Greywolf?"

"I did... he taught me a great many things.." Siaxx paused. "His people are dying out... and he found a cure... I swore to him I would finish his mission.... whatever it takes.... before people like him deserve to live... He took me, Rachael and her daughter into his clan... he helped us time and again, saving mine and Saki's lives on three separate occasions. Being around him brought me a measure of peace I've never known before...."

"He sounds wonderful."

"I've been uploading his language into the ships database... nothing so far... but I have options.." she paused. "I also plan to see Commander Wintersnow, see if her people have encountered Greywolf's..." Siaxx closed her eyes. "Its been two and a half years... yet... I feel overwhelmed by his death... whenever I think of him... I just want to cry..."

"So let yourself grieve, he deserves it and so do you," Tressa said, giving her hand another gentle squeeze.

Siaxx paused. "I've been so focused on the goal.... finding his people..."
as she closed her eyes, as she stopped resisting her grief which wanted to get out, as the tears she had resisted began to stream down her face.

Tressa got up from her chair and knelt in front of Siaxx, letting the distraught woman lean on her as her grief overtook her.

Siaxx threw her arms around the other woman as she wept on her shoulder. "I never... got over him... he was like my father.."

"I'm sure he felt the same way about you," Tressa said softly.

"I know he did.." Siaxx sat back, her face was a study in misery and heartbreak. "He knew it was coming... But he fought it off for over two years..."

"Fought it off?"

"He was dying.." Siaxx's eyes took on a far away look. "He knew it too.... but he was able to prolong his life.."

"That is amazing, how did he do that?"

"He had technology with him... he used it to prolong the life of his equipment" Siaxx explained. "He was able to puzzle out a cure for his species long term issues.." she sighed softly. "He..." she stopped as her composure crumbled. "I miss him..."

Tressa nodded; he had obviously made an impact on Siaxx. She stood up and moved back to the chair next to the doctor.

Siaxx's misery was clear for all to see. "We had issues communicating... he had to teach me his language...How the heck did this happen?"

"That is a question we cannot answer, Siaxx."

"No.... Last time we spoke... you called me a monster." Siaxx responded. "I took pride in telling the universe to fuck off.... " the small Bolian sighed. "In the time I was planetside.... I found something.... a peace I've never known before... Now...I feel like its been ripped away.... Somehow..... I feel like I left the best part of myself.... back there with Greywolf.."

"I did call you a monster," Tressa said as the memory flooded back. "Siaxx, you are in mourning. Everyday we choose who we want to be... who do you want to be?" the counselor asked.

Siaxx wiped her face. "I owe it to Greywolf's memory to finish what he started..." she paused. "I told him I'd carry on and take his cure to his people... thats my job now..."

"Is that what you want to do, or what you feel you must do?"

Siaxx gave Tressa a dark look. "I swore to him I'd finish his work... I meant it then and I mean it now." she responded. "He died feeling he'd failed his people..." Siaxx stopped as she felt her heart rate racing, her breathing was light and quick, she could feel her control slipping away. "I won't let his life's work be in vain... I refuse.." she whispered. "I know what I have to do... I just need to get on with it."

"Then you have made your decision," the counselor said. "What's the next step, and what does this mean for Phoenix?"

"Jill supports me in this matter.... We've had two years to talk it over... she felt my best approach would be to upload what I have into the Federation data network and go from there... also that I should talk to our Draenei science officer. see what she has to say on the matter."

"Then you have a plan."

Siaxx nodded. "I do... Yes... its just a matter of follow through." the small Bolian explained. "I'm going to go and see Luhanna... As soon as we finish here of course."

Tressa sat back in her chair. Siaxx has certainly grown as a person since she had seen her last, but she hoped that the doctor wasn't becoming obsessed with finishing this... Greywolf's? ...life's work.

"Is there anything else you'd like to talk about, Siaxx?" the counselor asked.

"I don't know... to be honest... I'm not sure where I fit in with my own life anymore... let alone anyone elses, last time I saw Torilla, I beat the crap out of her and the last time I saw you, we got into a rather ugly argument." the small Bolian paused. "I don't know what to say..."