My Deepest Fears

Posted on Thu Feb 27th, 2020 @ 3:31pm by Fleet Captain Torilla Yamaguchi & Commodore Siaxx "Bluemoon" Dvald-Vaxx MD & Jillian "Phoenix" Sullivan
Edited on on Thu Feb 27th, 2020 @ 3:31pm

Mission: Mission 22: Quarantine
Location: Various Locations - Starbase 12
Timeline: 0810Hrs - January 5th, 2391

Commander Torilla Yamaguchi sighed softly as she awoke, she blinked as she looked around. "Whats...wait.. where...why am I in sickbay.?" as she felt a hand on her abdomen as she found herself looking at Phoenix. "Whats going on?" she asked softly.

"I need ya ta take calm breaths an' ta know I'll tell you what's happened. But wait to get your breeches up, after I explain, all right?" Phoenix spoke quietly.

Torilla looked down at her now flat belly. "Okay...." she said softly as she inhaled, fighting off waves of panic as she closed her eyes while counting to ten. "Okay..... I can do this..." she paused. "Phoenix... whats going on?" Yamaguchi inquired, her voice full of fear and fright.

"You got so bad off that the docs all had ta talk. An' they decided 'at you could not be put in cryo because of ya bein' knocked up. So they had to transfer them into another host," Phoenix spoke quietly. Then she placed Torilla's hand atop her own stomach. "They are in there."

Torilla's eyes opened wide with unspoken fear and panic. "My babies... are alive?" she whispered. "What happened.?" Yamaguchi inquired a moment later after regaining her self control.

"Ya went into kidney failure," Phoenix spoke gently and then prodded Torilla''s hand. "I don' like folks touchin' me much. But you should talk to 'em. Or whatever it is ya do telepathically."

Yamaguchi wanted to weep as she gently placed her hand on Phoenix's shoulder. "I don't want to be too demanding of you... I fear the Doctors have already done that..." she paused. "At least they will be alright... I can ask no more of you then that...."

"It... wasn' exactly my choice," Phoenix spoke almost distantly. "But in the end, my daemons on tha issue were far less, compared ta the fact all three of you woulda been lost if I denied it."

"I'm Sorry.." Yamaguchi whispered. "Will you be alright?" she paused. "Can they be transferred back to me?"

"I wish they could," Phoenix answered with watery eyes and then looked away to shield her own emotional pain. "I didn' know I was knocked up with Aryssa... Not rightly sure I'll be good 'bout this."

"Things are different this time... you got Siaxx... Rachael and me." she paused. "if I could... I'd have you move in with me...so I could look after things.."

"Don' be mad at Siaxx," Phoenix spoke with watery eyes. "She wanted ta save ya."

"I don't know what to think..." Yamaguchi admitted softly. "but I am alive... my babies are too.... whatever else might happen... I have that to be grateful for..."

Just then Siaxx Dvald slowly poked her head from around the corner. "Torilla?" she paused. "you're not going to... strangle me from... across the room... are you?"

Yamaguchi turned her head. "No..." she admitted. "I will settle for a glass of water though..."

Siaxx slowly rounded the corner, her fear was easy to see as she hesitantly poured a glass of water from a jug which had been sitting unattended, she then handed it slowly to Yamaguchi. Torilla accepted the glass as she slowly drained a mouthful. "Siaxx... I find your lack of faith... disturbing."

"Well... considering what happened... I was concerned you might...how do I say this?"

"Take offense to you saving the lives of myself and my twin babies and murder you for it?"

Siaxx opened her mouth and then closed it again. "Something along those lines... yes."

Yamaguchi smiled before slowly nodding her head. "You worry too much..." she commented quietly. "I'm in enough trouble for the last incident... Besides... my children are alive and so am I.." she then indicated Phoenix. "You and I got more important things to worry about in any case."

Siaxx slowly nodded her head. "I'll admit... I expected you to reach out and strangle me the second you laid eyes on me..."

Yamaguchi sighed. "My Hypocrisy goes only so far."

"So you two are are good?" Phoenix asked the both of them.

Yamaguchi regarded Siaxx. "I might not like it.... but I'll get over it," she answered honestly as Siaxx sighed softly. "I was expecting you to hate me" she paused. "I cursed you... called you vile names.."

"You're faith is clearly lacking...." as she engulfed the smaller Bolian in a hug. "You saved my children....."

"It's good ta have you gals gettin' along," Phoenix spoke with a little too forced smile.

Siaxx looked over at Phoenix and then at Yamaguchi. "Well... I just stopped in to see how you two were doing." she commented before opening her tricorder as she gave Torilla a quick checkup. "Well.. you're system seems to be processing the after-effects quite well.." she explained.

Torilla processed the comment as she slowly sat back. "How long before I can leave?"

"We're still dealing with the outbreak.. So... for now, you don't."

"Both of us are in the isolation wing," Phoenix explained. She was trying to put on a brave front, but her own fears and stress over being pregnant kept nagging her.

It quickly dawned on Yamaguchi that something very serious was going on aboard ship. "Siaxx... what are we dealing with?"

"We're dealing with a hemorrhagic fever style of contagion." she paused. "We don't know where it came from..."

Yamaguchi sucked in a lungful of air as she fought the impulse to panic. "Umm.." she paused as she could feel the panic from Phoenix.

"I think I wanna go back to my room now," Phoenix spoke, and rose stiffly from her back hurting. "Looks like you two gals are square."

Yamaguchi regarded the other woman in silence as Siaxx gently helped the larger woman up. "Let me help you."

"You two need ta bond," Phoenix told to both of them.

Yamaguchi sighed softly. "I'll get over it."

Siaxx meanwhile was helping Phoenix. "We'll manage.." she commented softly. "In the meantime.. lets get you sorted out."

"It's gonna be a while 'til I feel sorted, Dear." Phoenix did not entirely fight off Siaxx's insistence, for Phoenix truly was starting hit a very low bottom in her soul.

Siaxx regarded Phoenix. "I know..." she paused. "but we'll get through this...... together."

"I didn' wanna go through this at all," Phoenix admitted while she fought back watery eyes.

"I know..." Siaxx sighed. "I will get you through this... somehow."

"I didn' wan' it," Phoenix repeated. This time with strangled emotions of agony and despair. "I was put in a position ta either be the douchebag an' hurt a lot of folks. Or do it an' have ta go through a lot of shit I know I can' go through again."

Siaxx paused as she felt the dark hand of despair gently slide its fingers around her heart. "It'll be okay..." Siaxx stopped talking. "We will get through this..." she sounded like she truly believed what she was saying. "I believe in you.."

Phoenix was quick to enter her private room and crawl back into bed again.

"I want Dora," Phoenix as she sniffed and looked around for her dog.

Siaxx heard Phoenix's request, she went over to her office as she retrieved the dog from where she was sleeping on the floor underneath Siaxx's desk.

The dog awoke with a start as Siaxx gently soothed the dogs frazzled nerves, it had been a long few days for her. "Its alright Dora.." As soon as she recognized Siaxx she calmed as the small Bolian woman gently carried her to Phoenix. "She's been hanging out with me for the last few hours." Siaxx explained as she gently placed Dora on the bed next to Phoenix.

The Dog instantly warmed to Phoenix.

Phoenix began to stroke Dora. Tears ran down her face very quickly as she began to decompress. But the fact Siaxx was there, made it a bit more bearable.

"Thanks," she told Siaxx quietly.

Siaxx nodded her head. "I wanted to give her a little peace and quiet... I knew you were bothered so I kept her with me..."

"Nothin' ta do but rest, I suppose. I aint gettin' outta here until this virus thing is gone, right?" Phoenix asked nervously while she stroked her dog.

"Nope.." Siaxx responded. "I however may not be so fortunate." she explained. "considering the fact this virus is mowing down our people.... I may end up commanding the ship."

"Just don' crash her. I don' think Tane will thank ya," Phoenix spoke with a small hint of a smile.

"Why would I want to crash this ship into anything... the insurance paperwork would be a nightmare, also listening to Tane's voice would be enough to drive what little remains of my sanity from me." Siaxx commented. "Did I say that out loud."

"Yeah," Phoenix agreed with a small chuckle. "But you used to think highly of her. What happened ta change that?"

"It.." Siaxx paused as she considered it. "It started because of that incident with the Klingon pot." the Bolian explained. "She was stupid and forgot where she hid her stash... and we paid for it."

"So ya hate her for somethin' she didn' mean ta do?" Phoenix asked softly. "An' we all heard her apology. But ya still wanna hate her for it?"

Siaxx sighed softly. "Yeah.... you're right.." she admitted. "I hate what drugs do to me... its random and leaves me out of control."

"Ya gotta make things right with her," Phoenix prodded gently. "That's tha only way she'll give ya your spot back."

Siaxx looked at Phoenix. "Make it right... with the pointy end of my boot... or with the tip of a blade?" she inquired.

Given all the stress Phoenix was under, she slapped Siaxx very harshly across the face with her real hand. Tears of disappointment running down her face.

"Bitch!" Phoenix had never called Siaxx that name before, but she was soo angry and down that her control slipped. "...That woman is one of few allies you have now. An' you're ungrateful when you should be on your knees thankin' her. Cause you got not a damn clue what it's like ta be alone."

Siaxx never saw it coming as her head snapped around to the right as she went flying backwards with the force of the blow, she crashed into the wall as she felt dazed. "What the hell!" she gasped as she gently touched her face, no blood. "Phoenix!" Siaxx sighed. "Fine... I'll talk to her..."

"You better," Phoenix pressed. "Cause you're turnin' into something far worse than I ever was... Someone that acts out with nothin' ta lose. An' ya do have lots ta lose. Feds take ya away in chains, ya lose freedom, an' a life with me an' whatever kids ya wanna have with me."

Siaxx slumped to the deck as she began to weep. Phoenix's response was hesitant. She sat Dora on the bed, then kneeled down beside of Siaxx, if only to put her arm around the woman and rub her back.

Siaxx's response was to gently curl her arms around the other womans shoulders. "What have I done..."