I should have been a Watchmaker

Posted on Thu Feb 27th, 2020 @ 3:00am by Commodore Siaxx "Bluemoon" Dvald-Vaxx MD & Jillian "Phoenix" Sullivan

Mission: Mission 17: The Drug-Dimmed Tide
Location: Various Locations - USS Roanoke
Timeline: 0900Hrs - December 13th, 2390

Lt Commander Siaxx Dvald was devastated, heartbroken. Her career was in tatters as she sat in the arboretum as she wept, a type two phaser in her hands as she closed her eyes. "Its all gone.... washed away by a spiteful bastard..." she hissed aloud as she mentally thought of her husband and young children, whom she missed so terribly, would think when they herd that Siaxx had died by suicide. Siaxx had, for her part, wanted to get out after she had been shafted out of her command, the USS Valorous by Bremer, it had been done to save his ass and now he was violating her again with these events, her career had been tarnished, these accusations would be enough to finish what Bremer had started.

Dvald had no idea what her husband would think of this disaster when he heard about it.

Dark circles had formed around Phoenix's eyes. She also shook madly in her hands, but despite the fact she felt sick, Phoenix knew she had to find Siaxx. Her love. Her soul mate. Thus she ended up tracing their favorite hauntings.

There really was no time to think. The moment Phoenix spotted Siaxx with a phaser in hand and a distraught expression, her combat instincts took hold. And she bulldogged her lady to the ground.

"No!" That was the only plea she could make as she rolled in the grass with Siaxx. Neither woman wanted to let go of the weapon.

Siaxx's combat instincts took over as she shoulder checked the other woman as she went for the phaser. "Gimme the phaser!!" Siaxx screeched, her rage and pain evident in her voice.

"No!" Phoenix repeated and elbowed Siaxx in the small of her back. Not too hard, but enough to try and daze the woman enough to remove the phaser. "I love you," Phoenix cried out in pain.

Siaxx fell forward as she rolled before throwing a fist towards Phoenix. "Let me have the Phaser..." she cried. "You don't know what that rat bastard did to me...." she added as she felt Phoenix shove her back a few feet before she collapsed to her knees. "Its all gone... my career.... destroyed..." she then looked towards the ceiling before letting out a loud piercing scream at the top of her lungs.

Phoenix tossed the phaser aside and just hugged Siaxx tightly, tears streaming down her face as well. Though Siaxx could feel trembling in Phoenix's hands.

"Tane will fix it," Phoenix whispered quietly while she shakily rocked Siaxx. "I don' like her but she's always gotta plan. She protects her crew... An' I protect ya too."

Siaxx looked at her. "How?..." she asked in a small voice. "Malpractice is a very serious offense. Even if I'm cleared... my career is still destroyed..." she whimpered.

"Not if ya keep workin' at it. An' Tane wont rid of ya unless she truly don' like ya," Phoenix tried to console, and fought hard in that moment to keep her nerves calm.

"Jill... My career has been destroyed... My family doesn't want me.... you're all I have left.." she whimpered. "I've been left with... nothing else..." and with that she burst into tears, the kind that couldn't be consoled with kind hands and soft words.

"Let's go home, Dear," Phoenix consoled and picked Siaxx up and carried her in her arms.

For Siaxx, she heard nothing only that her career was over and her world had come crashing down, as she rested her head on Phoenix's head before she closed her eyes, before passing out.

Phoenix honestly had hoped that this feeling would pass. But it did not. Siaxx slept mostly from being mentally drain. And Phoenix found she could not get any rest. All she managed was laying on her back, staring at the ceiling while breaking out in cold sweats and light tremors.

Nothing she thought was was happy though. She either fought herself to stay sober, or fought to stay sane to keep Siaxx from committing suicide.

~Why did Torilla choose me?~ Phoenix thought with trembling hands on her stomach. ~I can't make her happy. I can only hurt the one that hurt her.~

Siaxx's eyes snapped open. "Jill.." she whispered. "I've fallen... and I can't get up..."

"You will," Phoenix promised, struggling to focus her thoughts a little. "I lost the best job there was for a pilot... An' 'at hurt a lot. But I climbed back up."

Siaxx looked around, before realizing that she was in the quarters she shared with Phoenix. "I've been accused of medical malpractice.... they're gonna take my career away... I won't be able to do anything... my starfleet commission... my career... is all gone..." she whispered as she looked at Phoenix who was more massive then she was. "Zara can't help...."

"Let's say nothing comes of the charges," Phoenix spoke and turned to that she could hold Siaxx's hands in hers. "You'll be stuck on this ship for a while. An' academic folks like you an' Furban just need a few damn good cases ta get in good graces again."

Siaxx regarded Phoenix. "Jill.... how can you be so sure.." she whispered. "I wish I had your strength.... or your courage.."

"Cause Furban has a sealed JAG file that basically says she numbed a reporter into a drooling vegetable for twelve hours, while serving as ACMO on SB12," Phoenix spoke quietly. "I might of fucked one of the medical officers, durin' our rough patch. But basically he told me she almost got her credentials revoked to... Now SF Med waits patiently for whatever her secret project is, to be finished."

Siaxx frowned as she tried not to burst into tears. "Furban has abilities that can affect others..." the Bolian commented softly. "I dunno Jill..."

"But she did harm," Phoenix pointed out. "You docs don' normally forgive that. An' they did with Furban. An' she was guilty of it... or so I was told."

Siaxx listened in silence. "But I want more then Furban.... I want my own command...." she said softly. "now.. I can never get that..."

"You'll get it if you press Tane for command time," Phoenix pressed gently, and started to rub Siaxx's arms. If only to help her ignore her own problem. The tremors did not feel as bad when she was distracted.

Siaxx wanted to cry, she wanted to make noise. "I..." she whimpered. "I'm Sorry.... for being so weak...." she whispered. "everything falls apart and I want to end it all..." her eyes were full of unshed tears.

"You're not weak," Phoenix spoke honestly as her blue eyes stared long into hers. "An' I don' want ya to leave me, cause I need you."

Siaxx gently climbed into Phoenix's lap as she gently slid her arms around Phoenix's torso. "I love you.." she said quietly as she held on tightly, like a lost child.

"I love you too," Phoenix sighed and held her. Though at this point it was very hard to keep her shaking hands under control.

Siaxx looked at Phoenix. "Whats wrong... wait... the Detox..." she paused. "I'm sorry...."

"It comes and goes. I'll be fine, My Love." Phoenix was not even sure if she would be, really. But trying to put a brave front on for her fiancee was important.

Siaxx regarded Phoenix's face as she felt Phoenix's hands on her shoulders. "I'm sorry..." she turned away as she realized the sheer scope of what she had done, she had tried to run and she had tried to walk out on Phoenix.

"Part of bein' together for life, means bein' there for each other through good an' bad times," Phoenix spoke quietly, cold sweats beating more harshly now. "Don' worry much 'bout it Dear."

Siaxx looked at Phoenix. "Come on... lets get you into the shower..."
the Bolian commented softly as she climbed off of Phoenix. "You need it.."

"I think we both need it," Phoenix smiled to Siaxx, trying to brave her addiction problem.