Whispers in the Dark

Posted on Thu Feb 27th, 2020 @ 2:07am by Admiral Jake Yamaguchi & Fleet Captain Torilla Yamaguchi

Mission: Mission 16: Hoist the Colours
Location: Various Locations - USS Roanoke
Timeline: 2340Hrs, December 11th, 2390

Commander Torilla Yamaguchi was sitting in the brig, all of her emotions were in free-fall as she looked at what remained of her Starfleet career, she knew her entire life had gone up in a ball of fire and smoke, thanks to her taking revenge on a man gone berserk and because of what he had done to her baby girl.

She had been on the bridge when the full force of that psionic scream for help slammed into her, she had felt a wave of pain, terror, panic and fear and she knew where it had come from. Her baby was screaming for help.

She had gone down to sickbay and in a flash of rage, she had ended someone's life.

Now she was down here in the brig, her career was in ruins and now she would face the consequences of her actions.

She had requested the lights be turned down low and she had stripped off her jacket as she lay on her back as she wept quietly.

"When all the list of new crew came to my office," Tane began from in front of the force field, some long time later, "...I always assumed the one to commit blatant murder, would be Phoenix."

The Trill looked rather tired, drawn out. Despite her smile, she was trying too hard to make Torilla laugh, for both women understood how badly this situation was.

Then the field came down as the smack of Tane's palm and the captain walked in and sat down on the edge of the cot. Her brown eyes looked to the tall woman, noting Torilla's pain.

"When I was a kid," Tane began in a shaky voice, "I was sent to juvy for killing my father. It was, in fact, in self-defense, but because I felt no remorse at the time, child services felt I need rehabilitation."

By the pale complexion, Tane looked like she might be sick. As if she never recanted the story to anyone. But she did, at least in order for Torilla to understand that Zara understood her pain.

"Zara.... Are you here to ask for my resignation?" Torilla inquired softly as she regarded the other woman.

“No.” Zara answered solemnly, and took Torilla’s hand in hers. As a concerned friend would. “I’m saying I’ve lived through this same sort of pain and agony and am still haunted by it on occasion.”

Torilla looked at the smaller woman, confusion radiating on her face. “I do not understand Zara…” she said softly. “I murdered him in cold blood… he tried to kill my youngest…” she whispered. “the pain from it… through our connection… I felt what she felt… it felt like...fire.. “ she said softly.

“If you did not kill him, someone else would,” Zara spoke very soberly and turned Torilla’s head so she was looking the Trill in the eyes. “He tried to kill both of them. And he failed. And he damn near could of killed your grandchild… So what happened was justified.”

Torilla felt her head being turned as she found herself regarding Zara. “I felt I had to do it…. I’ve never killed anyone before… I feel…..filthy… mired in shit and blood because of him…”

“It doesn’t go away. I would try to clean it from you if I could,” Zara admitted with watery eyes. “But that bastard would of lived in a penal colony, making flower pots for his sins… And I don’t think any of us here would stomach his fate, if it had been allowed to go to fruition.”

Torilla regarded the other woman. “I don’t know…” she whispered softly. “I still can’t believe it..”

“So far as Command needs to know, it was a faulty weapons discharge.” Zara did not smile this time, but rather looked soberly to her right hand. “But I also know taking a life removes a part of you. And if you need time to think about this shit, do so. In fact, I think we should go to your place and call your hubby.”

“Wait…You’re letting me out..?” she asked quietly.

“The worst punishment for a good soul, is the fight you’re facing now with yourself,” Zara spoke rather sagely. “Putting you in a pin like this for twenty years would only stir those thoughts into darker holes you need not explore.”

Torilla looked at Zara, having no idea of what to say. “How do I go on?.... knowing I’ll never get it out of my head..”

“Because there are far more good times than the bad times,” Zara replied and kissed Torilla on the lips. A harmless pop-kiss, but one to put the woman off-track of her current dark thoughts.

Torilla regarded the other woman, a smile appearing on her face for a moment but it was there none the less. “Alright….. lets go talk to Jake…”

Zara led Torilla back to the XO’s quarters and started the subspace protocols to call his ship. The entire time, she help the tall woman’s hand. Letting her know she had a shoulder to lean on.

“Take your time. Know I’m here if you need it,” Zara comforted with a hand squeeze.

Jake’s face came on the screen as he looked at Torilla. “Torilla… whats wrong.?”

Torilla started in english but her voice quickly picked up as she started babbling in a mixture of English and Halanan, as the truth of what she had done hit her all at once.

Jake watched his wife, a mixture of shock and horror on his face. “Torilla… Torilla!” he called to get her attention. “Is it the babies…?”

Torilla babbled on and then leapt off of the bed as she dashed into the bathroom. Jake blinked, his emotions were raw from not enough sleep and horror over his wife’s condition. “Whats going on….who are you?”

“I’m her friend… and CO,” Zara began with a half-grin. Since she rarely wore her pips because she could never find them all, nor did she wear her uniform to regulation? Zara understood his confusion.

But by the worry in her dark brown eyes, she kept looking in the direction of where Torilla went, just to make sure she was not going to do anything stupid.

“Your twins are fine,” Zara assured, with one eye trained on the screen. “Torilla is sorta fine… But your teen, Rachael, was hurt today. Nothing major.”

Jake raised an eyebrow. “Okay… so what happened to Rachael and why is Torilla puking her guts out?”. Jake inquired before he turned his head to the left. “At least Gideon is still asleep.”

“Oh… that.” Zara began winking madly so he’d pick up on the code. “Torilla had to break up a dispute between pilots, that got a bit rowdy and ran over into Sickbay. There was a bit of a scuffle and one of the pilots got killed from an accidental discharge of a weapon.”

Jake raised an eyebrow as he got the subtle hint that not all was what it seemed, he indicated the door with his head where the sounds of someone throwing up could be heard. “Ahhh Torilla… my love… I’d hoped you’d never feel my pain…” Jake whispered but Zara could hear him.

“I’ll stay with her, for the night. Make sure her morning sickness don’t make her sicker, if you want someone with her,” Zara offered as she too, watched that door.

“Captain Tane…” Jake addressed her. “I’ve heard stories about you…. your reputation is undeserved..” he commented with a soft smile. “you’ve made a friend this night Zara….”

“I’ll send you updates on both your girls regularly, Admiral.” Zara gave him a respectful nod, which was very out of character for her, as she rarely respected the brass.

Jake smiled warmly at the woman he’d only just met. “Whenever you and I talk, you don’t need to address me by rank… my friends call me by name... “ he commented. “you’re looking after my wife at her worst...I consider this no small favor…” he said quietly.

“I’ll be relieving her, until she comes to terms,” Zara spoke a bit uncomfortably. “I’ll try to be there for her, but I think it would be good, if you called her a few times this week. Just so she can hear your voice, if anything else.”

“Consider it done..” Jake responded. “I heard that Rachael was supposed to be involved with a fighter pilots exercise…. she mentioned it to me two days ago… did that event take place?” Jake inquired. “would you mind sending me a copy of the footage from the fighters?” he asked with a smile. “I heard she was progressing as a pilot…”

“Phoenix is better able to answer the overall scope, but the fighter sim event was phenomenal. More so with Phoenix letting your daughter be her wingman,” Zara spoke, smiling more at the fact his daughter got such a high honor.

“Phoenix let Rachael fly with her?” Jake grinned. “My little girl has become a woman…. how is her baby doing?”

“I’m told it was not harmed in the attack. So they are both fine,” Zara assured her.

Jake let out a soft sigh. “Alright…” he responded softly. “Thank you Zara…”

“Try and rest easy, Jake,” Zara ended in parting.

Jake smiled. “Thank you… you do the same… if you can…” and with that Jake terminated the transmission. Meanwhile Torilla was in the bathroom, she felt drained and exhausted, both mentally and physically drained. “Uhh…. fuck…” she muttered. “god… this hurts…” she said softly

Zara came into the bathroom not long after, her vest tossed aside. She bent down and held her hand out to Torilla, “Why do we fall, Torilla?”

“So we can pick ourselves back up again…” as she turned her head, as she caught Zara’s hand with her own as she felt the raw power of the other woman who hauled Torilla back up to her feet in one smooth motion.

“Why don’t we get you into bed, yes?” Zara smiled up at her friend. “You need rest. And then tomorrow we’ll go from there.”

“Alright..” Torilla commented quietly. “I can’t be your Exec when I’m like this…” she said quietly. “you need to relieve me of duty Zara… do it… I won’t hold it against you..”

“I intended to do just that,” Zara spoke none too happily. “I just wanted you to reach that conclusion on your own.”

“I know Zara..” Torilla responded. “When I’m in this state, I’m no use to you at the moment… but…” and with this Torilla smiled. "I recommend Teval... he's your last Oh Five left that's not compromised by events..."

"I think I agree," Zara nodded as she began to pull the covers down in Torilla's bed, along with taking her own boots and pants off so that she was in her underwear. "But I'll still be around to lean on, if you want it, Tor."

"Thanks..... for being here Zara." Torilla gently hauls the other woman into her embrace as she falls asleep with Tane nestled up against her.

"It's what friends do," Tane pointed out and caressed Torilla's hair, if only to get the taller woman to calm herself. "Those babies need some rest too. So try to clear you mind of all the bad. Think about what your babies are going to be like."

Torilla deliberately stopped thinking about what had happened as she thought about recent events earlier that day with Zara in her whirlpool, a smile crossed the larger woman's face as she did. "Zara... thanks for caring..." she whispered.

Zara rubbed Torilla's tummy as if to give the taller woman something happy to think about. "You're a good mom."

"How did my day turn into such hell?" Torilla inquired, her eyes closed as she gently shifted position.

"You know... I could give you something to mewl about, if you truly want it to end on a good note," Zara joked. "But neither of us would rest well afterwards."

Torilla chuckled softly. "It would be interesting but... yes it would suck afterwards."

"Rest, my friend." Zara pat Torilla's tummy one last time before she too, closed her eyes.

Torilla smiled before she lightly kissed Zara before she fell asleep.