Misunderstandings and Issues

Posted on Fri Feb 28th, 2020 @ 4:34pm by Fleet Captain Torilla Yamaguchi & Jillian "Phoenix" Sullivan

Mission: Mission 31: The Ashes of Eden
Location: Various Locations - USS Roanoke
Timeline: 1900Hrs - March 31st, 2391

Commander Torilla Yamaguchi sighed as she gently held her youngest child in her arms as she tried to sooth him, he was screaming his head off as Tressa was likewise screaming.

Torilla for her part had thought that the twins were settling in well but this was the most recent of a series of incidents which showed Torilla that the twins were not settling in well, they didn't know her where as they did know Rachael and they knew Phoenix.

Torilla gently put the small boy back into his bed as she rose to her feet and went into the next room, before tapping her combadge.

"Yamaguchi to Phoenix... Its Paul again... I hate to keep bothering you like this but?" the older woman sighed, feeling exhausted.

"Yeah..." Phoenix sighed, groggily. "I'll be there."

It was only a matter of minutes that Phoenix entered Torilla's quarters. Nix instantly relaxed as the sight of Phoenix and hugged her the moment she was in range.

"You need to listen to your mom, Paul," Phoenix began to console as she rubbed his back. "She loves and and cares for you as much as I do."

"I want you," he cried out.

Phoenix looked very sympathetically up to Torilla. "I'm sorry. I wish I knew how to get them to settle in with you."

Yamaguchi regarded Phoenix with a soft smile. "Well... I've only had them a couple of days.... you've had them a couple of years.." Torilla paused. "At least Tressa seems to be settling in alright." as she gently brushed the hair out of the little girls eyes before she gently picked her up. "Its okay Tressa.." she soothed the young child.

Phoenix gently put Paul back in bed, though she did not leave him. She caressed his back and smiled at him. A motherly instinct to get the child to relax and sleep.

"Well.. they seem to respond to Rachael.." there was something off in Torilla's tone when she said it. "At least I got you all back... but I missed so much with Rachael... Five weeks ago she was fourteen.... and now.." the older woman stopped.

"Now it's like you don' know her," Phoenix nodded in understanding. "At least the twin didn' grow too old. You've lots of time ta get ta know them."

Torilla gently held her daughter in her arms. "I don't.." she responded. "Rachael acts like she doesn't need me which... she doesn't." the older woman explained. "Oh she stops by to visit but... I think she's reevaluating her entire life... which I don't blame her."

"I waited to long ta get ta know Aryssa... Ya can' do tha same with Rache," Phoenix pressed.

"No... I'm going to keep out of it and leave her be to get on with it." Torilla answered. "She's my baby... same as all of my other children but the best thing I can do is leave her to it... She knows where I am if she needs my opinions."

"Now you're just bein' stubborn," Phoenix sighed in frustration.

"I was younger then she was when I had Elizabeth." Torilla explained.

"That might be true, but trust me... You distance yourself, she aint gonna see tha need ta spend much time with ya," Phoenix admitted with tears. "You have what I don, in regards ta my daughter. So don' fuck that up with Rache."

Yamaguchi slowly nodded. "Yeah.... you're right.." she sighed softly.

"I didn' wanna have your twins on that planet," Phoenix cried silently as Paul went to sleep. "Didn' think I was gonna be a good influence on 'em. More so cause of how I messed up with Aryssa... Now I love 'em as if they were my own. An' I'm sorry I let 'em get so close ta me."

Yamaguchi gently placed a hand on the smaller woman's shoulder. "Don't trouble yourself about it... You did the best you could in difficult circumstances. Besides... I rather like this side of you."

"You want your twins ta accept ya. I want Aryssa ta accept me..." Phoenix sighed with both sadness and frustration. "You an' I are in one fuck-up situation with our kids."

Yamaguchi nodded her head, in agreement. "Tell me about it... but we'll get this sorted out... somehow." she paused. "Rachael was my youngest before these guys and Diamond came along, now she's the same age as Gabe, only a few months behind him because his birthday comes before hers does..."

"I don' think she cares 'bout bein' tha oldest," Phoenix reminded Torilla with a smile. "She never gave up hope seein' you guys again. That all she wants."

Torilla smiled as she gently reached out to touch Rachael's mind, she felt her daughter's touch in response. "Yeah.... well she's home and I'm glad she is.." a sigh escaped her lips. "I just missed so much..."

"No ya didn'. Kid didn' get a prom or a weddin' or anythin' else big, besides Saki," Phoenix tried to console. "She had ta learn ta survive. An' 'at aint a good thing ta learn as a girl her age."

Torilla regarded Phoenix. "She's become a wild creature.." she paused. "Rachael learned much.... She's already become a fine mother in her own right but... She still has so much to do.... still so much to see.."

"You can try an' tame a lioness, but she'll forever be a wild creature," Phoenix told Torilla. "Rache aint wild. She's just more grounded on how stuff works. I, however, am wild. I was born into it. An' 'at is apart of me."

Torilla regarded the sleeping twins as she gently brushed the hair out of Nix's eyes. "But you're still a good influence for these two... and thats not a bad thing but... tell me something... Whats this I hear about Saki and Shonax.... the beastie doesn't like Saki?"

"She don' know what a pet is," Phoenix shrugged off. "Siaxx an' I are tryin' ta teach her he aint food or a toy."

"Oh..." Yamaguchi responded. "So... Shonax and... my kitties need to contend with someone who might try to eat them... for lunch... perfect." Torilla sighed. "I think Rachael and I might want to address that with Saki pretty dammed quick.."

"I think Siaxx might also be jokin' with me to some extent with tha kid wantin' ta eat my pets. But she more or less don' know how ta take care for pets," Phoenix went on to explain.

"Well considering she's never known a decent childhood until now, I can't say I'm surprised to hear any of this.." Yamaguchi regarded Phoenix. "But I can see Siaxx's humor in this too... "

"I'm just glad she can have one now," Phoenix spoke wholeheartedly as she kissed Nix on the forehead before she stood up and walked out quietly from the room. "Kids don' need ta have that life I had. They should be happy an' carefree."

Yamaguchi slipped out of the bedroom, behind Phoenix as she heard what the other woman was saying. "Siaxx shared a few details with me about the life she and Rachael had planetside." she sighed softly. "Always being on guard... and Greywolf."

"Wildlife was their worry... An' 'at is, in many ways, not as bad as the Boarder Wars. They aint wild like I am," Phoenix tried to assure her friend.

Yamaguchi regarded the closed bedroom door as she turned her attention from it back to Phoenix. "Fair enough..." she paused. "They think you're their mother and I'm their aunt." the irony of the whole situation was something she found amusing. "I think they think that aunt is mom and mom is aunt..." she paused. "I'm going to get something to drink, you want anything?"

"I'll take anythin'," Phoenix agreed and gave Torilla a very guilty look. "I didn' want this. Ya gotta believe it."

Yamaguchi gently placed her hand on the other womans shoulder. "I know... You're being too hard on yourself..." the older woman commented with a smile. "You brought them into this world... and you gave them life..."

"But they aint mine," Phoenix spoke honestly, however painfully it was to admit. "Just as Aryssa aint yours, but she connects with ya in ways that make me feel like I lost her forever."

Yamaguchi went over to the replicator as she ordered two drinks. "But I'm not Aryssa's mom, you are... and I will never replace you in that role..." as Yamaguchi smiled, she handed one of the two drinks to Phoenix. "You're blaming yourself for something thats not your fault... but you did the best that you could with what you had to work with..... and I'm grateful to you for everything.... you'll always have a place here..."

"So what are we gonna do with this fucked up situation?" Phoenix asked as she sipped on her drink.

"We work through it, with our sets of kids, one day at a time... Aryssa needs to come to terms with you being in her life, she also needs to find herself too... Lets face it, she's been lied to by everyone... even me." Torilla then slowly smiled. "The twins however think you are their mother and that's fine.... you raised them for the first two years of their lives..."

"I did..." Phoenix admitted with a half-smile. "They game me an' Siaxx a lot of joy. Still do, an' it makes me feel bad to admit it. Cause I truly want to be an aunt to 'em as you an' I understand tha term."

"But they will always think of you as something else and they will always resent me for it." Torilla responded. "Jill... its okay, you carried them, you gave birth to them and raised them as best you could. you have nothing to feel bad for."