A Spectacular Failure

Posted on Thu Feb 27th, 2020 @ 2:48am by Chief Warrant Officer Ryi "Taffy" Amlari & Staff Warrant Officer Hana "8-Ball" Nakamura
Edited on on Thu Feb 27th, 2020 @ 2:48am

Mission: Mission 17: The Drug-Dimmed Tide
Location: Various Locations - USS Roanoke
Timeline: 0830Hrs - December 13th, 2390

1st Lieutenant T'kalla and Warrant officers Godfrey, Nakamura, Amlari were standing in on of the flight simulation rooms. Ryi was chewing on Andorian Taffy. She offered some to Hana who waved to politely decline.

"Put the candy away Mr. Amlari. I do not see why you always intake extra calories." Vlenda to Ryi.

"It because I have a higher matabolism Sir. I need the sugar to keep going." Ryi explained.

"I find that claim dubious, Mr. Amlari." Vlenda told her.

"Thanks, so at least get it Sir." Ryi replied.

"I was not agreeing with you, Mr. Amlari." Vlenda shot back.

"Um, Sir." Charlotte tried to get Vlenda's attention.

"Yes Mr. Godfrey?" Vlenda responded.

"I'm not ready to fly gain Sir. I think I need more classroom time before I fly." Charlotte explained.

"Mr. Godfrey, you will be flying a simulator. The worst thing that can happen is you crash a virtual fighter." Vlenda told Charlotte as she just whimpered back.

"Now, I am your acting flight commander." Vlenda told the other pilots. "We will be running a short combat simulation. A Romulan bomber and two fighter escorts are making an attack run on the USS Roanoke. I will be first element commander and Mr. Amlari will be my wingman. Mr. Gofrey will be second element commander and Mr. Nakamura will be her wingman. First element will draw off the escorts and second element will engage the bomber." Vlenda instructed. "Does everyone understand?" There were only affirmative nods.

The pilots entered the simulators. they were in full flight suits and helmets to fully recreate combat conditions. As the simulation started the pilots found themselves out in space and flying their Eagle fighters abreast. They all did a quick radio and systems check.

Vlenda reopened the comm channel. "I have the OpFor on radar. First element will be engaging the escort at this time. Did you read that Second element?" Vlenda asked Charlotte.

"Lieutenant T'kalla, I have bad feeling about this. Permission to return to the carrier." Charlotte asked.

"Mr. Godfrey, we are on a simulator. If you return to the carrier all you will do is sit on the virtual flight deck. The Romulans are simulations. They cannot hurt you. Your fear is quiet illogical." Vlenda responded. "Again I ask, did you read our last transmission?"

"Yes, Sir." Charlotte answered in a forlorn voice.

The two Eagle fighters broke off and went for the Romulan escort fighters. They approached the Romulans at top speed. Vlenda let off a burst from her micros. They came close to hitting but missed. It did get the escorts attention and the two fighters broke off the give chase.

"The escort broke off." Vlenda told the flight. "Second element, engage the bomber."

"Copy that First Element." Charlotte replied. As she closed in on the bomber her hands started to shake very badly. Behind her helmet she grimaced. It took everything she had just to fly. Finally, she broke and ran.

"Where are you going?" Hana asked but there was no response.

"Mr. Godfrey!" Vlenda screamed. "Get back and engage." She ordered Charlotte but she just kept going. "Mr. Nakamura, continue to destroy the bomber. Mr. Amlari, keep the escorts off Second element." Vlenda instructed. Both junior pilots acknowledged.

Vlenda broke away and headed towards the Roanoke to get Charlotte. Hana maneuvered her Eagle behind the bomber. "Torpedoes away!" she gleefully yelled as two masses hurled towards the bomber. Two big brown blobs just splattered the bomber. "What the hell!" Hana yelled.

Vlenda observed the attack. "That was inconceivable. What happened?" She asked.

"I don't know." Hana yelled back angrily.

"That is, I don't know Sir." Vlenda corrected Hana. Vlenda checked Hana's payload. "Mr. Nakamura, you are not armed with photon torpedoes. It appears instead you are armed with an odd mixture of frozen bovine lactose, sugar, cocoa powder..." Vlenda listed before getting interrupted.

"Ryi's Special Chocolate Milkshake." Ryi told them. "I recognize my recipe. Hana's torpedo tubes are loaded with milkshake."

"Mr. Nakamura, why did you load your launch tubes with Ryi's Special Chocolate Milkshake?" Vlenda asked.

"I didn't fucking load this fucking fighter! I don't know why the fuck I have milkshake torpedoes! I didn't write the fucking program!" Hana yelled back.

"Please restrain your emotions Mr. Nakamura." Vlenda chided Hana.

"Are you fucking kidding me! I'm trying to destroy a bomber with fucking ice cream!" Hana yelled back.

Vlenda decided not to reprimand hana again as it seemed to have no effect. Instead, she continued to chase down Charlotte.

"Hana, let me take the shot at the bomber." Ryi asked.

"No, I can use my micros on it!" Hana replied.

"Your micros won't get through the bombers shields. I'm heading your way!" Ryi told her. She moved towards the bomber, still evading the Romulan fighters.

Meanwhile, Vlenda had caught up to Charlotte. "Mr. Godfrey, please turn your fighter around and engage the Romulans." Vlenda asked. there was no response. "Mr. Godfrey, if you do not turn around your fighter I shall be forced to fire upon you." Vlenda threatened. Still, no response. Vlenda gritted her teeth. She fired off a warning shot with her micros. The eagle fighter continued on. Vlenda fired again, this time intending to hit Charlotte. The burst came close but Charlotte took evasive action. Vlenda growled in frustration.

Hana continued to strafe the bomber with her micros. As Ryi had predicted, they achieved little.

"Move aside I'm coming in!" Ryi shouted.

"No, this is my target! Go away!" Hana shouted back.

Frustrated that Hana wouldn't move, Ryi pulled in front of her to get a shot. It was at that time Hana let off a burst from her Micros. The shields on Ryi's fighter didn't hold and the Eagle exploded.

"Ryi, you fucking blue dumbass!" Hana screamed before the Romulan fighter escorts shot up her fighter. As her simulator powered down, Hana screamed again in frustration.

At the Roanoke Charlotte was still evading Vlenda. "Stop evading me you coward so I can shoot you!" Vlenda yelled into the comm system. Charlotte didn't comply and instead landed in the Roanoke's docking bay. In a frustration rage, Vlenda strafed the docking pod on the Roanoke.

In response to Vlenda's attack, the Roanoke's point defenses opened up on her fighter. It was a decent explosion. Sadly, as the Roanoke's defense system was engaging Vlenda the Romulans appeared. Unmolested, the bomber fired two torpedo spreads. The first spread brought down the Roanoke's shields. The second destroyed the carrier.
The Roanoke exploded in grand fashion.

Vlenda hoped out of her simulator, determined to deal with Charlotte. Instead she found Hana trying to pull Ryi's helmet off and Ryi resisting.

"Pull that helmet off so I can beat your blue butt across the deck!" Hana yelled at Ryi as Hana continued to yank at the helmet.

"I can't! It's stuck!" Ryi responded very excitedly. "Please stop, you'll rip off my antennae!" Ryi pleaded.

"Stop this at once!" Vlenda yelled. "Mr. Amlari, why is your helmet still on your head?" Vlenda loudly asked.

Ryi, who was now at the position of attention tried to answer. "I think I got some taffy in there."

"Mr. Amlari, report to sickbay to get that removed." Vlenda told Ryi and she moved out at a run. "You two!" Vlenda yelled at Hana and Charlotte. "Into the conference room." Vlenda screamed. Vlenda hoped that maybe her superiors wouldn't look at the combat results from the sad excuse of a mission. Zero enemy killed with the loss of all fighters and the Roanoke.